


ceteris paribus

by tigriswolf



Series: unfinisheds [19]
Category: Dark Angel, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Families of Choice, Gen, Minor Character Death, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 05:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on Ben winding up with the Winchesters.  I started this in 2007 and never finished it, but I thought it ought to be moved here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Out of the Forest

**Author's Note:**

> Title: ceteris paribus  
> Chapter: I. Out of the Forest  
> Fandom: “Supernatural”/“Dark Angel” crossover  
> Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun.  
> Warnings: AU for both fandoms – preseries for DA and during season 2 of SN  
> Pairings: Dean/Sarah but mostly gen  
> Rating: R  
> Wordcount: 2290  
> Note: _ceteris paribus_ is Latin and means _all else remains the same_.  
>  Another note: I wrote this in 2007. Holy shit. I didn’t realize it’d been that long. I’m rereading it now for typos, but I’m not changing anything major or updating the stylistic things I did seven years ago.

At first, Ben loved the outside. Beyond the walls of Manticore, tasting freedom for the first time—it was amazing. He didn’t mind the biting cold; he didn’t even really notice it. He walked for miles that night and the following day, separated from the others; he had no idea who else survived the escape and stayed free.

He was picked up by a trucker, though he didn’t know it at the time. The man was old, like Lydecker—and that thought made Ben snarl. He crouched, prepared to fight or run, but the man held out his hands and spoke softly. He knelt in the snow, a good five feet away, and said, “My name’s Michael Blake; I just want to get you out of the cold—it’s ‘sposed to dip into the teens tonight.”

Ben followed Michael’s movements with his eyes, refusing to look away. He was tired, exhausted by the escape and the trek, by the constant looking over his shoulder. Michael kept talking, and his voice soothed Ben, calmed him. Slowly Ben straightened from his crouch and Michael rose to his feet.

“What’s your name?” he asked and Ben stared up at him, studied him, assessed him.

“Ben,” he finally answered.

Michael settled Ben into the passenger seat, wrapped him in blankets, asked if he were hungry. Michael didn’t ask what he was doing outside in the snow, why he froze any time Michael got too close, why he flinched every time they passed another car.

“I have a sister in Phoenix,” Michael said, offering Ben a to-go cup of hot chocolate, something Ben’d never had before. He slowly sipped it, feeling the warmth spread through him, from his chest to his toes and fingers. He sighed in contentment and listened to Michael’s words. “Her name is Sarah. She’s actually my half-sister; we have the same father. He left my mom when I was fourteen and married hers. He’s dead now; so’re both our moms. Sarah’s married but she doesn’t have any kids. Her husband—Dean’s his name—isn’t around much, but he’s good to her.” Ben’s eyes slipped closed and he felt Michael gently take the cup from his grip. “It’s warm in Phoenix. I figure we can rest there, decide what to do.”

Ben forced open his eyes and looked at Michael, who met his gaze. “Please don’t send me back,” he begged, too tired to do anything else, and finally he slept.

.

When he woke, Michael told him they were a few miles from the Wyoming state line. “I called Sarah; she’s gotten you some clothes, prepared one of the guestrooms.” Michael held out a bottle of water and some sandwich-thing in a yellow wrapper. Ben took the water but eyed the sandwich with distrust.

“It’s a fish burger,” Michael said, setting it beside him on the seat and starting the truck. “It doesn’t look like much, but it’s good.” Michael smiled at him and turned back to driving, keeping up a steady stream of words. Ben listened, committing them to memory, and covertly watched the ‘fish burger.’ Finally, he realized he was too hungry, so he reached out and snatched it up, unwrapped it. He turned the sandwich over in his hands, looking at it from every angle, and then bit a corner off. He paused after chewing for a moment and turned wide eyes on Michael. “’s’good,” he said in wonder and then tore into the rest of it.

Michael nodded and smiled.

.

It took them a couple of weeks to get to Phoenix. Michael told him they were going slow on purpose, so as to not catch attention. “There’s something off about you,” Michael said quietly, handing Ben a bundle of clothes he’d bought at Wal-mart, their third night together. “The way you move—not like any kid I’ve ever seen.”

Ben looked at Michael with wide eyes, wondering what would come next. Michael was the one kind adult he’d ever known, and if Michael turned—

“Get some sleep,” Michael said, nodding to the bed closest to the bathroom. “We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

The next morning, Michael sat Ben down on the foot of the bed and asked point blank what he was. And Ben told him the truth, couldn’t think of anything else to say. Michael listened and nodded and thanked Ben for his honesty.

And then they were back on the road.

.

They left the giant truck at a lot on the edge of town. Ben didn’t ask, but Michael said, “Distribution center” like it meant something anyway. There was a car and he opened the passenger door for Ben, so Ben got in.

“Sarah’s husband just got back today,” Michael told him, slowly driving down a residential street. Ben looked at everything in awe; after the starkness of Manticore, outside was beautiful. He couldn’t get enough of the color, of the sound. “Sarah told him that you’re a friend’s son. We’re going to stay there for a few nights.”

Michael pulled up a driveway and put the car in park, took out the key. “Look at me, Ben,” he said softly. Ben shifted his whole body, focused entirely on Michael. “Sarah won’t care that you’re not a normal boy, but Dean—people who are different make him nervous.”

He paused and Ben repeated, “Different?”

Michael nodded. “From what I know of Dean’s childhood, it was somethin’ like yours. I’m not sayin’ he’s a threat—he loves Sarah an’ll follow her wishes. And he’s got a softspot for kids. But just be on guard, okay?”

Ben nodded, weighing Michael’s words. He followed Michael to the front door and waited slightly behind him, nervous—he thought that might be the right term—for the first time ever. His stomach hurt, felt knotted, and a pressure built behind his eyes. Michael looked over his shoulder and smiled. “It’ll be fine, Ben,” he assured. “Promise.” Ben stepped forward and grabbed Michael’s shirt, clenching the cloth with both fists.

Michael pushed a button next to the door and Ben heard ringing throughout the house. Then he heard a male voice, footsteps, and saw through the glass a man walking to the door, opening it.

“Michael,” the man said with a nod and focused on Ben. His eyes widened and he stepped back. “C’mon in,” he welcomed, calling over his shoulder, “Sarah! They’re here.” He turned back to Michael. “I’m just here for the day; I’ll be gone by dusk. So, not to be inhospitable, but…” His voice trailed off and Michael nodded.

“Dean, I know the way to the den,” he chuckled. Dean smiled and, with one last look at Ben, vanished back into the house.

“Michael!” a female voice exclaimed. “It’s been too long.” Ben watched as a woman with shiny dark hair and kind green eyes hugged Michael. He wondered with longing if that’s how all families acted.

“Sarah,” Michael said, pulling back from the embrace, “this is Ben.” He put a hand on Ben’s shoulder.

With a kind smile Sarah dropped to her knees and held out a hand. “It’s good to meet you, Ben,” she told him.

Ben glanced up at Michael, who nodded encouragingly, so Ben reached out and gently gripped her hands. “Likewise, ma’am,” he replied softly.

“Ben’s tired, Sarah,” Michael said. “How about we show him to his room and let him rest?”

Sarah nodded and straightened. “Good idea, Mike. You remember the way?” Michael nodded. “Good. I’ll be fixing lunch in the kitchen.”

Ben followed Michael through the sprawling house, memorizing the way. Michael told him, “Rest for awhile. When you’re ready, come to the kitchen.” He ruffled Ben’s hair, still short but steadily growing out. “You’re safe here, Ben. Trust me.”

Ben didn’t say anything, but Michael gazed long at his face and seemed to like what he saw.

.

Ben never meant to fall asleep, but when he woke the Pulse had happened and the world gone mad.

He was instantly awake when he heard Sarah scream. Then gunfire. He rushed through the house and saw in a single glance Michael barricading the front door, Sarah barricading the den windows, and Dean arming himself with guns from a cabinet.

“Where’s Sam?” Sarah demanded.

Dean said, “On the way. He’s fine; five minutes, tops.”

“And you know that, how?” Michael asked, breathless.

“He’s my brother,” Dean explained, like that was all the information necessary. “He’s _Sam_.”

Then Dean caught sight of Ben and asked, “You ever handled a gun before?”

.

Sarah and Michael were against Ben joining the fight, even though Michael knew almost exactly what Ben was capable of. Dean, however, overruled them after he saw Ben in action. A few members of the mob taking the streets of Phoenix forced their way in and Ben tore into them, killing three and wounding four. Dean joined the fray and Ben danced around him, always being sure to avoid hitting the man with eyes identical to his own.

After, when Dean had dragged the bodies away and restrained the living ones, he looked Ben in the eyes, kneeling in front of him, and questioned gently, “What are you?”

“Don’t send me back,” Ben pled.

Dean reached out and turned Ben’s head either direction, finally noticing the bar code barely hidden by the turtleneck Michael had given him. “Ben,” he said, tracing the mark with a feathersoft touch, “swear you won’t turn on us.”

Ben looked past Dean to Sarah and Michael, standing shoulder to shoulder. “You’re a family?” he whispered, unable to keep the wistfulness from his voice.

“Yeah,” Dean answered. “We are.”

Ben heard a noise on the other side of the house and jerked his head in that direction.

“That’s Sam,” Dean said. And he grabbed Ben’s hand, looked him hard in the eye. “Family is something you make where you can. Once you have it, you never leave it behind. Family isn’t about blood kin—it’s the people you trust, the people you believe in, the people you love. Can I count on you, Ben?”

Sarah said something about him being a child and Michael shushed her. Ben, unable to look away from Dean’s hazel eyes, swore, “Yes.”

Dean nodded.

.

A few months after the Pulse, Ben woke from a nightmare to Dean running his fingers through Ben’s hair. At first Ben was frightened, flinching away, but Dean pulled back and spoke. He told Ben about his childhood, about Sam as a boy, about their parents. He told Ben about his first hunt, his first kill. He told Ben about the nameless guy in Tulsa when he was seventeen and how the knife slid between the guy’s ribs easier than breathing. He told Ben about Jessica and his dad’s deal with her killer, and how he should have died years ago but people kept taking his place.

After Dean fell silent, Ben realized he’d shifted closer without noticing, that he was barely a breath away. He knew that Dean had given him a great confidence, a great trust—and he still didn’t fully understand humans or their ways, but he wanted Dean to know, he _needed_ Dean to know—so, quietly he began. He started with the first thing he remembered and went from there, telling Dean about Manticore, about Zack and Max, about the nomlie they killed, about the escape. He told Dean about the cat DNA, about the speed and the strength and how sometimes he could barely pull himself from the edge of killing. For the first time since Manticore, Ben mentioned the Blue Lady, told someone about the goddess he created and worshipped, the goddess who failed him.

Dean listened quietly, letting Ben meander from subject to subject. He didn’t interrupt or make a sound, and Ben willingly spilled everything. Once Ben ran out of words, sun peeking over the horizon outside, Dean told him that the Lady had protected him, loved him, insured Michael found him that day in the snow. “Your Lady, Ben,” Dean whispered, “she brought you to us. But now me and Sammy, we’re watching over you. So you can let her go.”

For as long as he could remember, Ben didn’t cry. Some of his unit back in Manticore had, but Ben never did. Now, however, out and free, staring at someone who had his eyes, who looked at him and _saw_ him, Ben felt safe, even though the world was going mad outside the house, and Ben let Dean pull him close, gather him up in those strong arms, and Ben sobbed, cradled against Dean’s chest.

He finally fell back asleep a dozen minutes after dawn. Distantly he felt Dean lay him on the bed and pull the comforter up, tuck the blanket around him. “Dream good, Benny,” he heard Dean murmur and a kiss was pressed feathersoft to his forehead.

.

After Ben bared his soul before Dean, he was at peace. He fully surrendered control to Dean, content to let Dean be in charge. And with Dean came Sam.

Ben knew that he could trust them, let them in, that he was safer with them than anywhere else. He spent most of his time with one of them. They honed the skills Manticore gave him.

Michael sought him out, made sure Ben was happy. Sarah kept after him to eat healthy, to sleep and read, to make sure Dean and Sam weren’t running him ragged.

And Ben could honestly tell Michael and Sarah that he _was_ happy. For the first time in memory, he was content. Outside, the world had gone crazy and the news was worse every day, but inside the house and the fenced backyard, Ben laughed and smiled and learned from the Winchesters that he could be a kid, not just a killer.


	2. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter: Family  
> Warnings: Character death.  
> Pairings: Dean/Sarah, Dean/Sam, Michael(OMC)/Lauren(OFC), Kat/Nathan(OMC), Nora/Billy(OMC), Haley/Charlie(OMC), Ben/Asher  
> Rating: R  
> Wordcount: 12060  
> Notes: I've taken liberties with supplies in a post-Pulse world, as I believe the Winchesters would have preparations. I’ve also taken liberty with transgenic abilities, as I’m not too clear on what they actually are.

Kat and Asher were first. 

Almost a year after the Pulse, Ben was in his room reading _Shane_ when he heard someone walking up the drive. Dean and Sam had left that morning for Indiana and would be back within the week. Michael was headed for New Orleans to pick up a friend who’d finally gotten in touch and begged him to come get her.

So Sarah and Ben were alone. Sarah was napping in her and Dean’s room, and Ben wanted to wake her—she _was_ the adult and it _was_ her house—but froze in the act of flipping the page. Michael trusted him with Sarah.

 _Dean_ trusted him with Sarah.

So Ben ghosted down the hall and crouched just out of sight from the front door. Two heartbeats, two voices whispering, and then a soft knock. Ben closed his eyes, focusing on their voices—young, both of them, but one far younger. Ben deliberated for an instant before opening the door slightly. He looked at the humans: a blond woman not more twenty and a boy about his own age.

“Who’re you?” he demanded of them and the woman pushed the boy behind her.

“Do the Winchesters live here?” the woman asked and Ben could hear in the words how rundown she was.

“Who?” Ben responded, trying to peer around her at the boy.

“Please,” she said. “Tell them Kat from Roosevelt Asylum is here. Please.”

Ben looked up at her, assessed her tired, aching brown eyes. “They’re in Indiana,” he said and Kat sagged down, closing her eyes. He continued, “Would you like to come in?”

Kat raised her head and looked at him—measured him.

He tried a comforting smile, like he’d seen Dean and Sam use. She relaxed and reached behind her to grip the boy’s shoulder. With a nod, she said, “Please.”

.

Ben led Kat and the still-nameless boy to the dining room. He could tell they were pure human, like Sarah and Michael, or he wouldn’t have let them in. He told Kat to sit and she pulled the boy down into the chair next to her. Swiftly Ben served them some lemonade and asked if they’d prefer turkey or ham. Kat said ham and the boy nervously raised his eyes from the table, barely glancing at Ben before looking away.

“Would you prefer turkey?” Ben guessed, aiming for what Dean called Sam’s ‘empathy face.’ The kid nodded. Now that Ben could study him, he saw that the boy was actually older than him, by at least a couple of years. Ben made his sandwich first and when he put the plate in front of him, the kid whispered, “Thank you.”

Kat wrapped an arm loosely around the boy’s shoulders, offering strength and comfort. Ben quickly threw together a ham sandwich for her and sat down across the table. The kid picked at his but Kat made short work of hers and drained her lemonade.

“You’re someone they saved?” he asked, covertly focusing most of his attention on the boy.

She nodded, setting her glass down. “My boyfriend, Gavin…” Her shoulders tightened and her broke as she said his name. “One of our dates, he thought it would be cool to check out a haunted place.” Ben shook his head and she huffed a small laugh. “I know. It was stupid, so stupid. But we didn’t believe in ghosts then.”

Ben got up and grabbed the pitcher of lemonade, placed it in front of her before plopping back down in his chair. With a smile, Kat refilled her glass and sipped, then continued her story.

“We got separated. I heard him scream and I ran in the direction I thought it came from. But I got turned around, couldn’t find my way.” She shuddered. “I was so sure I’d die in that place. But then they found me, Dean and Sam. And then we found Gavin. They dealt with the ghosts and got us out.” She sighed, turning her glass between her fingers. “A month later, Gavin took his older brother’s gun and ate a bullet.” She rubbed at her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. “And I hated him for that. I hated him so much.”

She needed a moment so Ben gathered up her plate and a few other dishes littering the kitchen, put them gently in the sink. As he turned back to enter the dining room, he heard Sarah walking down the hall.

“That was five years ago,” Kat said. “Once I knew there were real monsters in the dark, I couldn’t—” She shook her head and sighed.

“You couldn’t turn your back and forget,” Sarah finished, entering the dining room. Kat and the boy jumped, and Kat whirled to face the door, scrambling for the gun she thought Ben didn’t know was tucked into the back of her pants.

But when she laid eyes Sarah, her hand stilled. “Do you have a brother named Michael?”

Ben’s attention was caught by the kid. He sobbed a little, so quietly neither of the women noticed. Ben tried to think of what Dean would do. After a moment, ignoring Kat and Sarah, Ben padded over and sank to his knees beside the boy.

“I’m Ben,” he said softly.

“Asher,” the kid replied without meeting his eyes.

Ben held out a hand. “Nice to meet you, Asher,” he said and Asher took his hand, clasped it lightly, and shook. After letting his hand drop, Ben asked, “You like to read?” Asher nodded, still not looking up. “You wanna see my room? I have tons and tons of books.”

Asher glanced towards Kat, but she was deep in conversation with Sarah. He thought for a moment then raised his gaze to meet Ben’s eyes. “Okay,” he whispered and Ben pulled away, stood up. Asher slid from the chair and Ben tried to smile reassuringly but wasn’t quite sure he managed it. He led Asher down the hall without speaking, unable to think of words. Asher’s bearing reminded him of some of his unit—fragile, breakable, bearing too much pain for someone so young.

 _Shane_ still lay on the bed. Asher sat next to the slim novel and lightly touched the cover. “My brother used to read to me,” he said, voice barely a murmur. Ben bet that if he wasn’t a government-made super-soldier, he wouldn’t have heard the words. “His favorite was _The Count of Monte Cristo_. I didn’t really understand it, but I loved the sound of his voice.”

Asher kept tracing the edges of the book while Ben searched for something to say. He finally settled on, “Where is he now?” though Ben bet that he knew.

Asher almost smiled and a few tears leaked out his eyes. “If there’s a heaven, he’s in it with Momma.”

Ben reached out, laid a couple fingers on the book. “You want me to read to you?” he asked, unsure of what to expect.

Asher kept his gaze on the book and nodded.

.

Twenty pages in, Asher fell asleep, stretched out on the bed. Ben read on two more pages then lay the book next to Asher’s head. Ben slipped from the bed and tucked his comforter around Asher, padded silently from his room.

As he walked down the hall, he replayed Sarah and Kat’s conversation. Even though he’d been out of Manticore for year, he still didn’t fully understand humans, so he needed clarification on what he’d heard.

Apparently, Sarah was Kat’s aunt. And, by the smell, Sarah had broken out the wine. Huh.

When he stepped into the kitchen, Kat raised her head. “How is he?”

“Asleep,” Ben answered. “What happened to his brother?”

Kat lowered her eyes. “A few months after the Pulse, I left home. I didn’t really have any plans, any destination, but I wound up in Wisconsin. A few miles past the state line, I saw these two kids—they were hurt, the smaller one trying to carry the older. So I stopped.” Kat paused and sipped her wine. “I shouldn’t have—it was almost as stupid as going to that asylum. But they were just boys.” She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on the wine flute. “Michael and Asher—Michael was hurt, badly. Maybe if the Pulse hadn’t happened—” She cut herself off, harshly wiped her eyes.

“What was wrong with him?” Sarah asked, reaching out to touch Kat’s hand.

“He’d been beaten. They both were, but Michael was worse. Michael couldn’t talk and blood was welling in his mouth.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Asher begged me to help him, sobbed for Michael to stay awake, and he tried.” Kat buried her face in her hands. “He tried so hard, but he died that night. And he couldn’t talk, couldn’t move—God, I thought Asher would die, too.”

Sarah was crying softly, holding Kat’s hands. Ben stared back the way he’d come, listened for Asher’s quiet breath.

“And then?” he asked softly.

“It took days before I could convince Asher to leave Michael’s grave. And he’s barely spoken in seven months.” She raised her head, met Sarah’s eyes. “In Nebraska, I found a group—their leader is a woman named Ellen. She sent me here. Said the Winchesters were still alive, that they could help me. Please—something’s after us. I don’t know what. I’ve kept us ahead of it, barely.”

Ben didn’t glance at the women, just kept listening to Asher breathing. “They’ll be back by Monday,” Ben said.

Sarah nodded.

.

Ben leaned against the wall across the room from Asher. The thought of sitting with his brother all night, watching his brother—hearing his brother die… Ben knew that would replace the nightmares of Manticore.

In his sleep, Asher flinched. Tears leaked from his eyes; he whispered Michael’s name and a plea. Ben didn’t know what to do, how to help the older boy. He swiftly ran through his memories, focusing on Dean that night they spoke.

So he slowly straightened and walked across the room, slipped down beside Asher’s head. “It’ll be alright,” he said, gently threading his fingers in Asher’s hair. “Dean and Sam will be back soon. They’ll take care of you.”

.

Michael beat the Winchesters home by three days. He brought with him two people: an older woman about his age and a young man. Ben watched warily as Michael helped the woman into the house. The young man didn’t lift his eyes from the floor as he followed them into the kitchen.

Sarah and Kat waited there; Asher stayed in Ben’s room. He still hadn’t opened up, hadn’t spoken about whatever happened to his brother before Kat found them. But he shadowed Ben around the house, so Ben had started training him, teaching him to fight. Asher wasn’t anywhere near Ben’s level and wouldn’t be for a long time, but he had potential. Ben didn’t even know how long Asher would stay, but he found himself growing sad at the thought of the older boy leaving.

Michael got the woman and boy each a sandwich; Sarah poured them a glass of apple juice. Kat watched from the corner, sticking close to Ben.

Finally, Michael said, “This is Lauren Weston and her son Chris.” He sat beside Lauren and Sarah chose the chair across from him. Kat sank next to her. “Lauren’s husband George was a longtime friend of mine.”

Sarah wrapped an arm around Kat’s shoulders. “This is Kat Evans—her mother was a friend of yours, too.”

Michael focused on Kat, studied her face. “Anna?” he asked and Kat nodded. “Her husband take good care of you?” She nodded again.

Ben assessed Lauren and Chris. Lauren didn’t appear to be a threat; Sarah and Kat could both take her, easily. But Chris—something in him made Ben snarl. He looked about seventeen, blue eyes, black hair. Tall and thin, he moved smoothly, economically.

Like Ben himself.

Christ kept his gaze on Ben as Michael introduced Sarah. His eyes were cold and hard, and Ben resolved to always be with Asher—at least until Dean got home. He and Sam wouldn’t let the dangerous boy stay.

Michael, Sarah, and Lauren got into an in-depth discussion about protection and Ben slipped away after a few minutes. He knew that Chris would follow. He waited just out of sight down the hall and let Chris come to him.

The older boy circled him, appraised him. “You don’t like me,” Chris said, laughter threading through the words.

Ben heard Asher’s footsteps and maneuvered himself around Chris until he stood between them. Chris gazed past him and smirked.

“Leave him alone,” Ben growled. “I don’t care if Michael vouches for you or not—hurt Asher and I’ll kill you.”

Narrowing his eyes, Chris snorted. “As if you could.”

Ben bared his teeth in the parody of a smile and Chris shivered. After a moment, he purposefully turned his back, walked steadily towards the kitchen.

Asher paused at Ben’s shoulder. “Who’s that?” he asked.

“Chris,” Ben told him. “Chris Weston. He and his mom showed up today.”

“Would you really kill him?” Asher’s voice was soft, tired, and Ben wondered what he’d been like before his brother died. He was at least three years older and a couple inches taller, but he seemed so small, so young.

Ben turned to face him, met his eyes without flinching. “I would.” He reached out to grip Asher’s shoulder and herded him back to his room. “Until Dean and Sam get back, don’t stay anywhere alone.”

.

Asher stayed with Ben, Kat, or Sarah. Michael spent time with Kat and Lauren, catching up. Lauren was nice, sweet; Ben liked her. And because of that, he couldn’t figure out where Chris came from.

Chris found one of the gun stashes and shot at the targets in the backyard. He didn’t listen to Michael, he didn’t listen to Lauren, and Sarah forbade Ben from kicking his ass.

“Dean’ll teach him,” she told him firmly. “So don’t make him an enemy, Ben.”

“If he hurts you, Kat, Asher, or Michael,” Ben said, “I’ll kill him, Sarah.”

Sarah tried smiling. “I know that, sweetie. I just hope it doesn’t happen.” She sighed. “I like Lauren well enough, but I wish Michael hadn’t brought Chris here.”

.

Ben and Asher helped Sarah in the kitchen; Michael and Lauren talked in the den. Chris was somewhere else in the house, but Ben had his senses ready for any hint of the teenager. Kat was showering.

Everyone except Chris had just sat down to supper—oven-baked chicken and homemade mashed potatoes—when Ben raised his head. “They’re back,” he exclaimed and shot from his chair to the front door, opening it before anyone else was able to move.

Sam carried in an unconscious guy about his age and Dean held a young woman, who looked around in shock. “Get Sarah,” Dean barked and followed Sam in hurrying down the hall, up the stairs, to the room they’d set aside for doctoring.

Sarah heard the command and took the back way, beating them there.

“Go eat,” Dean told Ben. “We’ll need you strong later.” Ben met his eyes for a moment and saw the warmth, so he nodded and ghosted back to the dining room.

Kat, Michael, Lauren, and Asher looked up as he reentered and took his seat. “Dean and Sam are back,” he explained and ate some chicken. Michael chuckled and shook his head.

.

Chris showed up while Ben and Asher were clearing the table. Lauren had gone to her room, Michael was helping with the injured, and Kat had decided to do the laundry.

Ben heard the back door open and glanced in that direction. Asher kept on running the water, cleaning the plates; Ben placed himself between the doorway and Asher.

For a moment, the first time since his discussion with Dean months before, Ben thought about the Blue Lady. He wondered if Chris would be a good sacrifice for her. With a shudder, he shook that off. He didn’t need her anymore. He had Dean, he had Sam, he had Michael and Sarah, and Kat—and Asher. No matter how long they stayed.

He had Asher.

Ben knew he had created the Blue Lady and now that he’d found a family, he didn’t need her anymore.

But a part of him—the hunter, the predator, the _killer_ —wanted to kill Chris anyway, to eliminate the threat.

Chris paused in the doorway, meeting Ben’s eyes. He smirked and tipped an imaginary hat then turned and walked away.

Ben watched him go and glared, then continued helping Asher.

He’d have to talk to Dean; Dean would know what to do.

.

By the time Dean came down to the kitchen, Ben was the only one still up. He had a plate of leftovers ready and pressed it into Dean’s hands.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Dean muttered and practically fell onto the stool by the counter. He sat there for a moment and yawned, then tore into his supper. While he ate, Ben told him about Kat and Asher—Dean remembered them and shed light on the events that had introduced them.

“I never really met Asher,” Dean said, draining his glass of water. Ben hurried to refill it. “But Michael—he was a brave kid. Would have died for his brother without blinking.”

“What about Kat?” Ben served Dean second helpings and heated it up.

“Knew how to use a gun.” He laughed. “Nearly shot me.” He took the plate from Ben with a smile. “Who’re the other people?”

“An old girlfriend of Michael’s and her son.”

Dean raised his head at Ben’s tone. “You don’t like the boy?”

Ben shook his head. “I hate him.”

Dean stared at him for a moment. “Any particular reason?” he asked.

Shaking his head, Ben looked away. “No,” he said. “I just… can’t stand him, Dean.”

“Keep an eye on him,” Dean commanded. “Don’t leave Sarah alone with him.”

Ben nodded. “I’ve been sticking close to Asher.”

“Ben.” He looked up to meet Dean’s serious gaze. “If you feel like he’s a threat to anyone, take appropriate action.” He paused. “Understood?”

Only Michael, Dean, and Sam fully comprehended what Dean meant by that.

Ben grinned. “Understood.”

Now, Ben could kill Chris without question. He almost wanted to hunt the bastard down now, before he put into motion whatever plan he undoubtedly had. But he refused to give into the temptation because of Dean. Dean would understand and not blame him—but he _would_ be disappointed. And Ben couldn’t stand that.

Dean, Sam, Michael, and Sarah had managed in less than a year something Manticore never had: made Ben loyal. He would do anything in his power to keep them safe, keep them happy.

The kitchen was quiet a moment as Dean ate and Ben pondered. Then Ben asked, “Who’re those two you brought in?”

Dean chuckled. “Andy and Ava. We met them about four years ago, a couple of months after Dad died.” He gulped down his water and Ben refilled the glass. “Like Sammy, they have abilities—Andy can control minds and Ava gets premonitions.” Dean picked up his glass and studied it for a second, tightening his grip around it. “And like Sam,” he said softly, dangerously, “some factions of hunters consider them a threat.”

“They were hunted?” Ben had tried to wrap his mind around anyone thinking Sam bad, thinking he deserved to be hunted and killed. But he couldn’t do it. Sam was too good, too kind.

Dean nodded. “We got there in time, barely. They’d knocked Andy out, so he couldn’t Obi-Wan ‘em, and Ava was begging…” He met Ben’s eyes. “Andy’s only ever killed one person, and that was to protect his girlfriend and me. Ava hasn’t hurt anyone.” Dean sighed. “Andy’s not gonna live through the night.”

He finished his supper and put the plate and fork in the sink, drained his water again. He stood in the doorway for a minute. “It’s a shame about Michael. He was a good kid.” Dean glanced over his shoulder. “Take care of his brother, ‘kay, kiddo?”

Ben nodded and almost grinned.

.

Andy died just after dawn. Dean disposed of his body. Ben took Asher out of the house, on a trek across their neighborhood. He showed Asher all of his bolt-holes, showed him the animals hiding out and surviving, showed him how to pick locks and sneak around.

By the time they got back, Ava was sitting in the den, right arm in a sling and an icepack on her face. Kat sat on one side, Sarah on the other; Ava was crying and Sarah gently rubbing circles on her back. Dean and Sam sat on the loveseat, to the side of the couch, and Michael had the recliner.

“Ava,” Sam said softly and she raised her head. “Just tell us what happened. Take as long as you need.”

Ben and Asher sank down by Dean and Sam’s feet; Ben leaned back against Dean’s legs.

“After… after we met, Sam,” she began, “I realized Dan was a plant.” She laughed. “Possessed. The man I loved never existed.” She licked her lips and shifted, wincing. Ben heard her ribs creak. “So I ran. I ripped off my ring and I ran. I don’t know what happened to Dan—” She shook her head. “He was alive when I left.”

Sam nodded. “We know, Ava.”

“I just ran,” she sobbed. “You told me there were others like us, and Scott’s tapes said we’d become some kind of army. I freaked.” She sagged back and Kat wrapped her arms around her. “I just… hid. Some demon was after me, and hunters—I didn’t know what to do.”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Dean asked gently and she shrugged.

“I tried, at first. But it never went through. A couple months after, I got a call from a woman named Missouri. She told me to give it up and leave you alone. That you had more important things to worry about than me.”

Dean stiffened and hissed; Ben responded to his rage by sitting up straight. “ Missouri?” Dean repeated softly.

Ava nodded. “It was about a year after I left Dan that I met Andy. I hadn’t had any premonitions since I saw Sam blow up, and I’d almost convinced myself that it’d all been a very vivid, weird dream. And then I was walking down the street in Seattle, going by Eva Smith, and overheard this guy talking himself out of a ticket. He didn’t plead—just said he didn’t need a ticket and the cop agreed.”

Dean sank back into the cushions and Ben let himself relax. He closed his eyes, listening—Lauren was taking a shower and Chris was trying to sneak out the back.

Ben turned to whisper in Asher’s ear. “Stay with Dean or Sam.” Asher nodded and Ben smoothly extracted himself from the room.

At the doorway he paused to look at Dean. He wasn’t seeking permission or validation. But Dean nodded, giving it anyway, the weight on Ben’s shoulders lightened.

.

Ben shadowed Chris out into the desert. He met up with a sleek black man and half a dozen others, all grizzled and hard. Ben didn’t get too close; he focused his eyes, memorizing their faces, and listened.

“So the Winchesters are there?” the leader asked, circling Chris.

“Yeah,” Chris nodded. “And some chick named Ava. There was another guy—Andy something, I think. But he’s gone now.”

“Hmm…” the black guy paused and glanced to one of his men. “Why come to me?” He turned back to Chris and got in his face. “What do you want?”

“There’re four women altogether, including Ava and my mom. There’re three men, counting the Winchesters, and two kids. I want my mom unhurt, and I want one of the kids: Asher.”

“Really?” the leader mused. “We can do that.”

“Go now,” Chris said. “Ava’s got everyone’s attention. Dean and Sam just got back, so they’re exhausted.”

“Gordon,” one of the other guys said, and the black man glanced his way. “This may be the last chance we get.”

“Alright. Billy, Nate, George, Adam—follow this pup. Half around the back.”

Chris nodded and started off, the four Gordon named following him. Ben snarled and glared at Gordon before melting into the night.

He could hurry back to the house and warn them, but that left Asher and the rest in danger. Dean and Sam needed sleep—they could fight, but would probably end up hurt. Then there was Ava…

So Ben’s best bet was to pick off the hunters before they ever reached the house.

 _My Lady_ , Ben thought, baring his teeth in a grin. _Tonight I offer you sacrifices. Please smile on me._

.

Ben struck silently and swiftly; after his first move, only Chris was alive two minutes later. He appeared in front of the older boy suddenly and quietly. “’lo, Chris,” he said and Chris flinched back, searching over his shoulder.

With wide eyes, Chris turned to flee and Ben leapt in front of him. “No, Chris,” he laughed. “You threatened Dean and Sam. You threatened Asher. So,” he smiled, “let’s play.”

.

After he finished with Chris and hid the five bodies, Ben hurried back to where Gordon had been. He followed the trail as far as he could, but the tracks vanished. He rushed as quickly as he could to the house and turned onto the drive at the same time he heard gunfire. He snarled and flew up the drive, sneaking around the back—Gordon held a gun to Ava’s head and his companion had a gun pointed in Dean and Sam’s direction. Sarah, Asher, and Kat were sheltered behind the loveseat and Michael stood a little behind Sam.

“Finally caught up to you boys,” Gordon drawled. “Three shots and the last of you are dead. The world’ll be free again.”

“You’re insane,” Dean told him. “We’ve known that for years.”

“I’m not the one protecting the enemy, Dean,” Gordon hissed. “You’ve refused to see what’s right in front of you since you were little. He’s _dangerous_ , Dean, always has been.”

Ben studied the situation. He could take out Gordon, but the other guy might get a shot off. He could take out the other guy, but Gordon would definitely kill Ava.

He should have come back and warned them.

“Gordon,” Sam said, stepping in front of Dean. “Let her go. Ava’s never even hurt anyone.”

Gordon scoffed, tightening his grip on her shoulder. Ava whimpered. “She killed her boyfriend, _Sammy_. You tellin’ me you didn’t know?”

“That wasn’t me,” Ava denied. “He was alive when—” Gordon used his gun-hand to smack her face and Ben prepared himself to leap down the stairs.

But Dean moved first, throwing himself around Sam, knocking down the lackey. Before Gordon could react, Ben leapt over the balcony. He hit Gordon’s back and grabbed for the gun, yanking it from the man’s grip and throwing it away.

Sam stepped across the room to pick up Ava and he rushed up the stairs; Dean yelled for the girls and Asher to follow. Kat pulled Asher behind her, shoving Sarah before her. Ben grabbed for Gordon’s neck, squeezing.

“Don’t kill him,” Dean commanded, slamming the lackey’s head into the ground. “First I want some answers.”

“Okay,” Ben muttered, cutting off Gordon’s air. He waited for the instant between life and death, then let go. Dean, with Michael’s help, picked the lackey off the floor and walked to the basement door, tossing him down the stairs. Ben scrambled off Gordon and waited; Dean and Michael lifted him, heaving him onto the sofa.

“Get Sam,” Dean told Ben. “Make sure Ava’s okay.”

Ben rushed up the stairs and down the hall to Dean and Sarah’s room. He knocked on the door, calling, “It’s me,” and shoved it open.

Ava was stretched out on the bed; Asher huddled on the floor by the bathroom. Kat and Lauren were on either side of Ava; Sam had a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, while Sarah held another gun.

“Dean needs you,” Ben said to Sam, but his eyes were on Asher.

Sam nodded and handed off the gun. “Keep them safe,” Sam murmured as he left.

Ben closed the door behind him.

.

The next morning, Ben and Asher cooked breakfast. Sarah, Kat, Michael, Ava, and Lauren sat around the table; Asher put the eggs, strawberries, and toast on a plate, then Ben delivered the plates to the table.

Dean and Sam had taken Gordon and the nameless lackey for a drive. Ben wanted to go along, but Dean told him, “Protect ‘em, Benny-boy.”

As she ate, Lauren asked, “Has anyone seen Chris?”

No one had talked about the night before yet. Once the Winchesters were back the full story would come out and everyone knew it, but until then those with the pieces would keep quiet. Lauren didn’t know about the supernatural, hunting, or Manticore. Not yet.

“I saw him sneak out last night,” Ben said. “Didn’t ask where he was going.”

Lauren frowned and Ben turned to Asher, asked if he’d ever seen the movie _Shane_.

.

The Winchesters weren’t back ‘til well into the afternoon. They were covered in dust and smelled like dried blood.

Ben smiled when they walked in the door.

“After we shower,” Dean told Sarah, and Sam followed him up the stairs.

Ava gingerly sat on the couch; Kat sank next to her. Lauren chose the loveseat and Michael collapsed beside her. Sarah paced for a few moments and then threw herself into the recliner. Ben looked at Asher, who shrugged. Upstairs, Ben heard the shower turn on.

Side by side, Ben and Asher sank into the corner. They discussed the merits of Billy the Kid versus Jesse James and didn’t pay attention to the adults.

The shower went off and didn’t turn back on. Ben smirked and Asher raised an eyebrow. Ben shook his head so Asher made his next point about Jesse James. Ben countered with a little-known fact about the Kid and Asher scoffed.

Dean and Sam came back down the stairs. Sam was toweling off his too-long hair and Dean mocked him. Sam glared, Dean laughed, and Ben smirked again.

“Gordon heard where we live from Ellen. And after getting to Phoenix, he watched for a bit. Then he saw Chris.” Dean’s eyes went to Lauren. “Were you going to mention his father was Steve Wandell?”

Ben turned to look at Lauren; she shrank away and Michael wrapped his arms around her.  
Sam put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean subsided and Sam took over the story. He started at the beginning, when he was six months old. Going by everyone else’s faces, Ben knew he was the only one who’d heard the entire thing before. The telling took hours; about the time Dean was fourteen, Ben fetched Sam some water. Sam rested his voice and Dean took back over. They traded off three more times, stopping at Sam’s possession. They didn’t mention everything, of that Ben was sure—just the highpoints. Just what was necessary to convey their meaning.

Dean stopped talking and shared a look with Sam. “We fell off the grid,” Dean said after a moment. “Spent a year in hiding. Let the furor about us die down. Then in February of ’08, we had to rejoin the fight. The demon sent one of his kids to New York and we dealt with the bitch.”

“We stopped in to see Sarah,” Sam continued. “Spent a month. Her father hated us.” He laughed and Dean smirked.

“He really did,” Sarah chuckled. “You pissed him off, Dean.”

Dean smirked again. “It’s not my fault he was dressed like a waiter,” he shrugged.

“Wait,” Kat said. “If _Sam_ and Sarah hit it off, how did the two of you end up married?”

Dean and Sam shared another look, then Dean glanced at Sarah. “A few months after we left New York, me and Sam had a minor argument.”

Sam snorted.

“He ran off to California—again—to visit his college buddies.” Dean shook his head. “Never mind we’re wanted by the FBI.”

Now, Sam rolled his eyes.

“I headed for as far from California as I could get, but ended up at a bar in Sarah’s town. She showed up, we both got blindingly drunk, and woke up the next morning in the back of my Impala. I spent a few weeks there then Sam called and begged forgiveness.”

“Did not,” Sam interrupted. “ _You_ called _me_.”

“Right,” Dean scoffed. “Just like I called you from Burkitsville.”

“You _did_ ,” Sam said.

Dean just looked at him . Ben, to his shame, giggled. Asher lowered his head and sniffled; Ben remembered that Asher’s brother was dead. So he laid a hand on Asher’s shoulder, trying to lend strength.

“Anyway, I headed to pick Sammy up and told Sarah to call me anytime she wanted. Five months after, she moved here because her father died and told us we could make her house our homebase.” Dean smiled at his wife and she smiled back.

“A witch cursed Dean,” Sam said. “He turned into a frog.”

Ava choked. “No _way_.”

Dean looked down, blushing. “I didn’t _mean_ to offend her,” he muttered.

“You hit on her, Dean,” said Sam, sounding reasonable.

“Well, she was hot.”

Kat laughed again and Ben would swear Dean was _pouting_.

“The only way to break the curse,” Sarah took up, “was for a woman to marry him.” Michael’s lips twitched. “Of course, no woman would marry a _frog_.”

Kat buried her face in her hands, trying to stifle her snickers. Lauren was looking from Michael to the others, her expression disbelieving. Asher openly laughed.

Dean hadn’t mentioned his sojourn as an amphibian when he and Ben exchanged stories. Ben could guess why.

It _was_ slightly embarrassing.

“Sam called me up and explained the situation.” Sarah shrugged, unable to keep the laughter from her voice. “I agreed to wed Dean the frog. Bobby, an old friend of theirs, was a preacher for a while, so he came down to marry us. After I kissed Dean, he turned back into the beautiful man we see before us.”

“And we’ve been together ever since,” Dean said.

Sarah smiled sadly. Dean strode across the room and leaned down to gently kiss her lips. “I understand,” Sarah whispered so softly only Ben heard her. “I really do.”

Dean cupped her face with his hands and deepened the kiss; Ben watched in fascination. Then his eyes drifted to Sam, who looked—

 _Huh_ , Ben thought. _Hungry. Sam looks hungry_. And that just cemented his belief that there was _something_ between his two idols.

Dean pulled back and ran his fingers along Sarah’s jaw. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and straightened back up.

“If Gordon knew where we are,” Ava asked, and no one missed her use of past tense, “could others?”

“Yeah,” Sam answered. “We’ll have more visitors soon, so we need to see what all of you can do. If you wanna stay, that is.”

“Where,” Lauren demanded suddenly and coldly, “ _is my son_?”

Dean glanced to Ben and Ben nodded, standing. “I killed him, Ms. Weston. He threatened people I care for, so I dealt with him. As I deal with _anyone_ who proves themselves a danger.” He didn’t smirk, but it was a close thing.

Lauren paled and her eyes widened. Then she glared and shot to her feet. “You murdered Chris?” she snarled and moved toward him.

Michael reached out to grab Lauren’s arm but Ben shook his head. “He told Gordon that Dean and Sam were home. He asked only that you be spared. And he demanded Asher.” Ben’s voice turned Artic. “He got what he deserved, Ms. Weston. Now: calm down, leave, or join him. It’s entirely up to you.”

Sarah shot to her feet. “You can’t kill her, Ben!” she protested. “I won’t let you.”

Ben looked at Michael. Michael smiled sadly and nodded slightly—he wouldn’t like it and he wouldn’t condone it, but he would forgive Ben for killing her. So then Ben glanced at Asher, whose eyes were wide but unafraid.

“You killed Chris for me?” Asher whispered and Ben knelt next to him.

“Yes,” Ben answered. “You and Michael and Sarah and Sam and Dean—you’re my family.”  
Asher’s smile was brilliant and Ben stood back up.

The final person whose permission he sought was Dean. He knew that Dean had killed for Sam in the past, so he wasn’t worried about that. Dean looked at Sam first, before meeting Ben’s eyes.

 _I’ll do it_ , Dean’s gaze said. _Not you_.

And Ben nodded.

Lauren collapsed back onto the couch, buried her face in her hands. “You killed my baby,” she sobbed and Michael pulled her into his arms. Ben studied her defeated form and decided not to worry about her anymore.

So he sank back down next to Asher, leaned against the wall. “You don’t mind that I’m a killer?” he murmured into Asher’s ear.

“He wanted me,” Asher murmured in reply. “He wasn’t the first.” Ben met his eyes. “Chris deserved whatever you gave him,” Asher said softly.

.

Lauren left at dawn the next morning. She left with only the clothes on her back, without a word. Michael watched her go silently and Ben told him, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Michael responded. “I shouldn’t have brought them here.” He sighed and turned to face Ben. “You shouldn’t kill people, Ben. Not so young.”

There was no judgment in his voice or face, only sorrow.

“It’s what I was made for, Michael,” he said. “It’s what I’m good at, all I’m good for.” Ben tried smiling but couldn’t keep the expression. “I’m okay with it, honest. I came to terms with it a while ago.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Michael argued. “You’re just a boy, Ben.”

Ben shrugged and Michael said nothing else.

When Michael went upstairs, Sam left. Ben didn’t mention it to anyone, but he bet Dean knew.

.

Kat, Asher, and Ava stayed. The Winchesters and Ben taught them to fight, taught them knives and guns. Asher was a quick study with blades and Kat, already good with guns, flourished. Ava, though, still weak from her beating, learned slowly.

A few weeks after Lauren left, Dean told the group he had to go, that he had business in Kansas. “Sam’ll stay here,” he said. “Ben, you’re coming with me.”

“Be safe,” Sarah said, kissing them both.

Dean nodded. “I’ll take care of him, Sarah.”

Sam, though, met Ben’s eyes. Ben smiled, and Sam turned his searing gaze on Dean. “Don’t be gone long, Dean,” he said. “Something’s coming. Me and Ava both feel it.”

Dean nodded again. “Shouldn’t be longer than a couple’a weeks, lil’brother.”

Ben didn’t say goodbye to Asher because Asher didn’t come to see him off. He asked Kat to tell Asher bye for him and she promised she would.

.

“So, how old are you now?” Dean inquired a few miles down the road from the house.

“Eleven, I think,” Ben said.

“Hmm,” Dean began. “You been thinkin’ about girls yet?”

Ben choked and turned disbelieving eyes on him. “You brought me with you so you could give me the sex talk?”

“Well, someone has to,” Dean defended and Ben laughed.

“Manticore taught us everything by the time we were eight, Dean. So don’t worry. I know about males and females.”

There was silence in the Impala for a couple of miles. Then Ben asked, “So, what’s going on between you and Sam?”

“What?” Dean squeaked.

“You take showers together. You’re always in each other’s space. You smell like each other and sex.” Ben turned innocent eyes on him. “So, tell me, Dean: what am I supposed to think?” Dean growled and Ben snickered. “I don’t care, Dean. I doubt anyone else will, either.”

“We’re brothers,” Dean snapped. “It’s _wrong_.” His hands tightened on the wheel and his foot pushed down on the gas. “It’s wrong,” he repeated, quieter.

“Is it?” Ben asked. “Says who?”

Dean took his eyes off the road for a moment, looked inquiringly at Ben. “Everyone,” he answered.

“Sarah?”

Dean jerked like he’d been shot and the Impala lunged across the road. Dean swiftly regained control.

“She knows,” Dean murmured. “But we’ve never talked about it.” He licked his lips. “We’ve never talked about it. She knows I don’t love her, that I never will.” He chuckled bitterly. “I’m not built for love—I only had so much, and I used it all before I met her.” He eased off the accelerator. “What kind of person does that make me, Ben?”

“Your parents,” Ben said. “And Sam.” Dean nodded. “And no one else?” Dean shook his head. “Liar.”

Dean looked at him, raised an eyebrow.

“You’re a liar, Dean,” Ben said again. “You loved your parents and you love Sam—and maybe I don’t know much about love, but even I can see you love Sarah. Not the same way you love Sam or your parents—but you’d still die for her. And you’d die for Michael, Asher, Kat, or Ava. You’d die for strangers on the street.”

“That’s not love,” Dean argued.

“Then what is it?” Ben shot back. “A death-wish? Love, Dean. You can’t say you’d give your life for people who aren’t worth it.”

Dean stayed silent, but to Ben it felt like a hollow victory. He was no expert on human feelings. Over a year in the real world and he still felt like a blind baby searching for the way.

“You’re happy, Dean. We all see it. And we…” Ben searched for the words and decided to just plow on. “We— _all of us_ —just want the two of you happy.”

Dean made a slight sound and said softly, “Tell me about your Lady, Ben.”

“She’s gentle,” Ben began. “And protective. As a sacrifice, she asks for teeth, or blood. It makes her stronger, strong enough to fight the nomlies—monsters.”

“You gave her Chris?” Dean asked.

“And four others who were following him to our house. They were the first ones since Manticore, Dean, I promise. And if they weren’t going to hurt you or Asher—”

“I believe you, Ben. I know you wouldn’t kill without a good reason.” And the simple truth of those words, the faith and belief displayed in the voice—it lit warmth in Ben that suffused his body.

“Who do you love, Ben?”

“You. Sam. Sarah. Michael. Asher.”

“We’re a family,” Dean said, voice iron. “We look at for each other, protect each other. We kill if necessary—and we don’t look back. Sarah understands, though she doesn’t like it, and she _would_ kill for me, for Sam, for Michael. For you.”

“Are Ava and Kat part of the family?” Ben asked, redefining his world again.

Dean thought for a minute. “Yes.”

.

When they stopped for lunch—sandwiches they’d packed and thermoses of lemonade—Dean told Ben about Missouri Moseley and his mother’s spirit.

“From the moment I met her, something in me—snarled at her. I just didn’t like her. And she sniped at me, always looking for something wrong, something to fault. She adored Sam, it seemed. But I got used to that when we were kids.” Dean laughed. “Authority figures have always liked him.”

“What didn’t you like about Missouri?” Ben ate the last of his sandwich and swallowed a large gulp of lemonade.”

“I don’t know.” Dean shrugged and polished off the remnants of his sandwich. “I just… didn’t like her. But Sam took to her, so I didn’t even try explaining. She’s a psychic, can read minds. Gets feelings. So maybe she didn’t like me because I didn’t like her.”

Ben pondered for a moment. “You said she knew your dad.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe the reason she didn’t like you had something to do with him, with what he knew.” Ben shrugged when Dean looked at him. “It’s a theory.”

“But why would she tell Ava to stop lookin’ for us?” Dean demanded.

Again, Ben shrugged. “How would I know? I was a little kid when you met her and I didn’t exist when she met your dad.”

“What if she’s not a Lawrence anymore?” Dean asked, moving on to a new worry. “How can we find her then?”

Ben rolled his eyes.

.

Turned out, though, Missouri still lived in the same house Dean and Sam had met her in. And she had three kids living with her, two girls aged six and seventeen and a boy about nine. She invited Dean in and Ben followed, on the watch for any threatening movement. Missouri led them to her kitchen where the three kids were. The eldest held the youngest on her lap and leaned protectively towards the boy.

“This here’s Nora,” Missouri said, nodding the oldest. “The others are Rich and Rosie.” With a look at Dean, Missouri continued, “You might remember the babies, boy. Rich used to live in your house, and you carried Rose out of a fire.”

Dean cast a sharp glance at the two young ones, but Ben kept his eyes on Missouri. She grinned at him and directed her comments to Dean. “Stay wary of your shadow, Dean. He’s more like you than you know, and there’s danger bred into his blood.”

“Why’d you tell Ava to stay away from us?” Dean cut in.

“Because she’d have distracted you at a point where you couldn’t afford it.” Missouri’s voice held no apology.

“We could have protected her,” Dean said. “Andy, too.”

“No, boy,” Missouri replied. “You couldn’t. No one could. Time’s are changin’, Dean. Swiftly and surely, and you’ll be left behind if you aren’t careful.” She looked back at Ben and raised a brow.

He didn’t like her. Dean’d been right—something inside Ben was snarling at her, had been since he laid eyes on her.

“When you leave, take ‘em with you,” Missouri said and walked out of the kitchen.

“ _What_?” Dean demanded and whirled to follow her.

Ben kept his eyes on the kids at the table. The young woman, Nora, met his gaze warily. “He’s safe,” the little girl—Rosie—piped up. “Not a threat to us.” She smiled at him and Ben moved closer.

“You _bitch_!” he heard Dean yell, and Ben flew from the room, through the house. He found Dean at the back, kicking a wall.

“Dean?” he asked, keeping his distance, and Dean turned. His face softened and tension flowed from his frame.

“Don’t worry, Benny-boy,” he said softly and sighed. He slumped against the wall and Ben leaped forward to catch him. Dean laid an arm over Ben’s shoulder and stood back up. “I’m fine, Ben. Just… worn out.” He sighed again. “Might as well gather up the kids and head back to Phoenix.”

Ben led the way to the kitchen. Nora had stood and wore a bag over her shoulder. She held Rose’s hand and had an arm wrapped around Rich.

“Guess she told you, huh?” Dean laughed. He shook his head and muttered about psychic bitches. “Let’s get goin’, then. Got quite a drive.”

Nora and the kids followed them to the car. “Nora gets shotgun,” Dean said. “Ben, sit in the back.”

Nora looked at Dean warily. “We can trust him,” Rose said. “He’s good, Nora.” Nora looked at Rose for a moment then lifted her and placed her in the back. Rich slid in beside her.

“No belts?” Nora asked and Dean shook his head.

“Ben’ll protect ‘em, if there’s a problem.” Ben beamed at the faith.

Nora sighed. “I can’t believe you don’t have seatbelts,” she muttered and slammed the door.

Dean growled and gently shut his.

.

The ride back to Phoenix was broken only by Rose and Rich’s conversation. Ben listened, comparing them to the children he remembered from Manticore. They were vibrant and bright, loud—he wondered if Asher had been like that, before his brother died.

Nora added a comment, every now and then. Dean fiddled with the radio, changing the tape every fifth song.

By the time they hit Arizona, Nora was gritting her teeth. “Touch another tape,” she bit out, “and I’ll slap you.”

Ben sat up. Rich giggled.

“This’s my car, sweetheart,” Dean said. “And they’re my tapes, so I can do whatever I want.”

Nora glared at him and Ben smiled.

.

Sarah greeted them at the front door. Her eyes widened when she saw the extra three bodies.  
“We don’t have room,” she breathed and Dean brushed her off with, “We’ll manage. Rose, Nora, and Kat can share; so can Asher, Ben, and Rich. Me and Sam’ll take the living room. You and Ava can trade off the master bed, and Michael can keep his own.”

“We’ll need to add on,” Michael said, coming down the stairs.

“C’mon.” Sarah gestured to the new ones. “You’re hungry, I bet.”

“We’re safe here, Nora,” Rose whispered, gripping the older girl’s hand. “They’ll take care of us.”

Ben headed up the stairs, Dean on his heels. “Sam’s in the shower,” Ben told him as he vanished into his room. Dean grinned at him and continued down the hall.

.

Nora, Rich, and Rose fit in seamlessly. Nora and Kat got on great; Michael took Rich under his wing; Rose shadowed Ava like Ben had shadowed Dean in the beginning.

Dean, Sam, and Michael started construction on a second wing for the house. “More’re comin’,” Sam and Ava agreed. Ben took the kids—Asher, Rose, and Rich—around the city, familiarizing them with the layout. Sometimes, the girls—Kat, Ava, or Nora—accompanied them.

Slowly, Rose and Rich and Nora became part of his family. He looked out for them, watched them, tried to make them happy.

And even more slowly, Dean and Sam quit hiding. The months passed and they began touching more, began sharing glances. No one really raised eyebrows or noticed—Nora looked to Sarah in askance once that Ben saw, but Sarah just smiled and Nora subsided.

By 2012, they were all united—a family.

So, of course, that was when the world threw more strife their way.

.

The kids had rooms in the new wing; Asher and Ben still shared, but everyone else got their own. Dean insisted Sarah keep the master bed. She told him that he and Sam should get it, since they were the leaders.

“It’s your house, Sarah,” he said, cupping her face. “Take the bed. Me and Sammy’re fine with what we got.”

Finally she gave in, recognizing she couldn’t win.

Dean and Sam traveled the country often, usually leaving Sarah in command. They’d take one of the kids sometimes, usually Ben. They gathered weapons and information, preparing for a war Ava and Sam knew was coming, inevitably and undoubtedly.

“We’ve had a respite,” Sam said as he, Dean, Ben, and Nora drove down the road to Nebraska. “Longer than we could have hoped for.”

“Yeah,” Dean chuckled. “That damned demon’s gonna come at us with a hammer when it finally does move.”

“So, that’s what we’re doing out here?” Nora asked. She had been told everything, pretty much. She’d admitted that the supernatural had touched her before—an invisible clown killed her parents.

Dean and Sam shared a glance when they heard that, and Sam said, “Believe me, that clown hasn’t hurt anyone in years—and never will again.”

“We’re lookin’ for allies,” Dean explained about the trip to Nebraska. “We’re also tryin’ to see who’ll stay neutral, when the fight comes.”

“And why am _I_ here?” she asked.

Ben met Dean’s eyes in the mirror.

“Because,” Sam said, “Rose is too young, Rich to innocent, Asher too fragile. Because Sarah and Michael need each other, Ava is an early warning system almost as good as me, and Kat’s very handy with a gun.”

“So…” Nora asked, fishing for something else, since clearly there had to be more.

“So, you’re going to be our secret weapon, our wildcard. You’re completely human, but you would die for Rosie.” Dean’s voice was soft, gentle, and proud. “Your life was destroyed by the dark, Nora, yet you don’t shy from Rosie, Ava, or Sam. You can show any doubters that the psychics are people, just like everyone else.”

Ben glanced at Nora out the corner of his eye, wondering if she’d fallen in love with him yet. Her eyes were wide and she blushed, looking down at her lap.

She was a far cry from the girl who threatened to slap him on the way to Phoenix. “I’m not so good as all that,” she muttered.

Dean scoffed. “Why d’ya love Rosie, Nora?” He sped the Impala up.

“Because she’s good,” Nora answered after a second. “She’s gentle and kind, and doesn’t have any clue how to be mean. She looks at you and knows your secrets, but she won’t judge you.” Nora shrugged. “She’s just a little girl.”

“My word is tainted,” Dean told her, glancing at Sam. “Everyone in the hunting world knows where I stand. But you—you’re new. Maybe you can sway some people away from Gordon Walker’s extremist beliefs.”

“And Ben?” Nora inquired, clearly turning Dean’s words over in her mind. “Why does he always go with you?”

They’d told her truth about Ben, but only explained to Rich that he was gifted like Rosie. Rosie knew, of course; Ben doubted anything could ever escape her.

“Ben can kick both our asses,” Dean said, tilting his head toward Sam, “and not even break a sweat. His hearing is superb and so’s his sight. So, if we’re walkin’ into a trap or get jumped, I want him with us.”

Nora looked at Ben, examining him, and he grinned innocently up at her. She frowned and glanced toward the front. “Did you notice he looks like you?” she asked Dean.

“Yeah.” Dean turned off at the ruins of a gas station. “Can’t explain it except that Manticore used my DNA.”

Nora accepted that without question.

.

They pulled up outside the Roadhouse at dusk. It was Ben’s first time there and he didn’t like it. He kept close to Dean and Nora followed his example. Sam brought up the rear.

“Was it this… oppressive last time?” Nora asked softly and Dean chuckled.

“Pretty much. Sure never felt welcoming, even before Sam opened his big mouth in a hunter bar.”

“Oh, bite me,” Sam snapped. Ben glanced back; tension tightened Sam’s shoulders and pinched at his face.

“One move towards you, Sammy,” Dean promised, swiftly turning his head to meet Sam’s eyes, “and they’re dead.”

Sam almost smiled. Ben silently echoed the oath, with one addendum: one move towards _any_ of the others and Ben turned savage. He knew Sam was thinking the same.

.

There were two old cars in the parking lot, three motorcycles, and five bicycles. Ben listened: nine heartbeats in the Roadhouse. He quietly relayed that information to Dean.

Dean entered first, then Ben. After a quick visual sweep, Ben placed all the heartbeats, and nodded for Nora to enter. Sam stepped in on her heels, but Ben could tell she didn’t fear him.  
Maybe he’d been wrong about her loving Dean. After all, Sam had his own appeal. Ben stifled a grin and focused on the bar where a weather-beaten woman stood, gaping.

“Dean,” she said, shocked. “Sam.” Her eyes shot from one to the other, completely skipping Ben and Nora.

Ben didn’t mind. He slipped into the shadows, eyes roaming, searching for any threat.

Sam and Dean stood on either side of Nora; they dwarfed her, but Ben could tell she wasn’t nervous at all. _Strong girl_ , he observed. _Even Sarah sometimes flinches from them_. 

“You sent two kids our way, Ellen,” Dean said. “So you can’t be that shocked to see us.”

“It’s been over a year,” she argued, hands below the bar. Ben noticed that the three grizzled men in the corner were reaching beneath their jackets and a slight blond woman in the hall held a shotgun.

“How’d Gordon Walker find us?” Sam asked quietly. Dangerously. His size appeared threatening for the first time since Ben met him. Ben smirked, sinking deeper into the shadows.

Dean and Sam were masters at intimidation. They could give Manticore lessons.

The blond slunk closer to the door, attempting to get a clear shot. The three hunters were focused on Dean and Sam, so Ben snuck around them without trouble. He kept the three in his peripheral vision, but placed most of his attention on the woman. Once the way was clear, he could rush her and snatch the gun.

“Not from me,” Ellen said. “I wouldn’t do that to you boys. I owe ya’ll Jo’s life.”

Ben moved, yanking the shotgun from the blonde’s grip. She flinched back, yelping, and he got behind her, shoving her into the main room.

The hunters and Ellen glanced their way, but Dean, Sam, and Nora kept looking at Ellen.

“Hey, Jo,” Dean said and she glared. Ben tossed the gun; Dean caught it without looking and removed the bullets. He let it all fall to the floor.

“I didn’t give up your location to anyone, Dean,” Ellen repeated. “Except to that Kat girl. Gordon wasn’t here and we were in the backroom.”

Ben studied Jo. She was fidgeting, edgy. “You told him,” Ben murmured and she jerked up her head.

“Where _is_ Gordon?” one of the hunters demanded, rising to his feet and kicking away his chair. “We haven’t heard from him in months.”

Sam spun around. “And you won’t,” he said coldly. “Gordon attacked us in our home, so we dealt with him.”

“He was right, then,” a second hunter spoke up, taking a long draft of his beer. “You psychic freaks _are_ threats.”

Nora scoffed and turned, eyes blazing. “Anyone can be a threat. You, me— _anyone_. But I know Sam—he’s a good guy.” She appraised the three men for a moment. “Better than you, I bet.”

The third finally asked, “And you are, girlie?”

She raised her chin. “Nora Adamson.”

“How’d a pretty thing like you fall in with _them_?” The second spoke again, jerking his head toward the Winchesters.

“A rakshasa killed her family,” Dean explained, still looking at Ellen. “I found her at Missouri Moseley’s about a year ago, her and two others. Children.”

Ben heard a sound down the hall. Everyone was focusing on Dean, so Ben ghosted away. There were still four people unaccounted for. Silently he padded from the main room, pausing at each door. Behind one, there was a single pulse. Ben continued on. A little further, past a turn, were three more.

Ben tried the knob: locked. A flurry of movement; a gun cocked. He shifted to the side and gently knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” A young man’s voice, unafraid.

“I just want to talk,” Ben called. “My name’s Ben.”

Slowly, the knob turned. Ben backed further away, keeping his hands visible and nonthreatening. A young man slipped from the room, a pistol in his grip. He shut the door behind him.

“You’re a kid,” he said, raising a brow.

Ben nodded. “Twelve, I think.”

“How’d you get back here?” the guy asked, letting the gun dangle from his fingers.

“I walked,” Ben answered, fighting back a grin.

“I’m Nathan,” the man said, then louder, “Billy, Luke—c’mon out.”

The door opened again. First came another adult, a couple years younger than Nathan. They looked enough alike to be brothers. Then, behind him stepped a kid about Ben’s age.

“You’re missin’ all the fun,” Ben told them.

“Fun?” asked the younger brother, keeping himself in front of the kid.

A gunshot sounded from them main room and Ben spun around, lunged down the hall. He heard footsteps behind him and Nathan commanding, “Stay _here_.”

He burst into a stand-off: Dean and Sam both held guns, Sam’s aimed at the hunters, Dean’s on Ellen. Nora was in the corner, crouched behind a table, and Jo stood still, eyes shooting from Dean to Sam and back.

Two of the hunters and Ellen also had guns. The first hunter who’d spoken was collapsed in a chair, clutching his hand, wrapping a jacket around it.

“What the hell?” Nathan asked and the third hunter swung his gun around to aim at Ben.

“Pull that trigger,” Sam growled, “and you’re dead.”

“You shot Cal!” the second hunter said.

“He drew first,” Sam returned. “Shoulda known better.”

“You desecrated Gordon’s memory!” Cal yelled.

Dean chuckled. “You even know what that means? Gordon was a whack-job. I shoulda killed him years ago, that first time he threatened Sam.”

Ben stepped forward; the hunter’s fingers tightened on the trigger.

“Kid,” Nathan whispered, “get behind me.”

“No,” Ben said. “You should go back to your brother and that boy.”

“Who’re the good guys?” Nathan asked.

“Dean and Sam, definitely,” Ben answered.

“Those the ones in the middle?”

“Yep.”

And Ben moved. No warning, no second thoughts, he threw himself forward, kicking off the ground. He hit the hunter in the chest, batting the gun out of his hands.

The other hunter turned to point his gun at Ben’s head, and Ben prepared to move again, but Nathan was there, and he punched the guy in the face.

“Thanks,” Ben said as Nathan disarmed the hunter. He looked towards Dean, who had whirled around as Ben lunged.

Dean lowered his gun and strode forward, falling to his knees in front of Ben. “I know you’re fast,” Dean said softly, harshly. “I know you’re strong. I know it’s what you were created for, born for, taught to do.” He placed his hands on Ben’s shoulders. “And if you _ever_ do something like that again, I’ll kick your ass.”

Ben met worried hazel eyes identical to his own. “Okay,” he replied softly. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay.”

He stood back up and turned to face Ellen, who had dropped her shotgun in shock. Her gaze was on Ben. “What _is_ he?” she demanded, voice harsh.

“He’s a boy,” Nora said, rushing across the room to stand beside him.  
Ben smiled up at her.

Jo moved, hopping the bar to join Ellen. Billy and Luke entered, the brother holding a handgun.

The kid looked at Ben, then Dean, and his mouth dropped open. “Dean?” he gasped.

Dean glanced over and tilted his head. “Lucas?” he asked. “Lucas Barr?”

Lucas nodded, hurrying forward. Dean turned to face him. “You’ve grown, kiddo,” he said. Then, seriously, “Is your mom alright?”

Lucas shook his head. “She died two years ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean murmured, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

“We’ll be leaving now,” Sam announced, with half a glance to Dean.  
“Thank you for helping Ben,” Dean told Nathan. “You can come with us, if you want.”

Nathan and Billy had a swift conversation without talking. “I’m Nathan Morris,” he said, holding out his hand to Dean, who gripped it. “This is my little brother Billy.”

Billy rushed back down the hall; gone for a moment, he returned with three bags and two motorcycle helmets.

Sam exited the Roadhouse first, Nora and Ben behind him. Then came Billy, Lucas, and Nathan, Dean bringing up the rear.

“You comfortable riding with them?” Nathan asked Lucas and Lucas nodded. “Can the kid go with you?” Nathan directed to Dean.

“Sure,” Dean answered. “If he still thinks Zeppelin rules.”

Lucas laughed.

.

Nathan, Billy, and Lucas slipped into their life with barely a ripple. Kat took to Nathan immediately, but Nora and Billy danced around each other for a while. Lucas, like Ben before him, shadowed Dean for a few months, then hung out with Ben and Asher.

Nathan and Billy’s story was a lot like the others. Bobby, Dean and Sam’s friend, had saved them from a poltergeist and dropped them on Ellen’s doorstep. Lucas showed up a couple of days later, silent and broken.

“A lot like when we first met,” Lucas told Dean.

“A few hunters bothered the kid,” Billy continued, meeting Dean’s eyes. “So we dealt with the bastards and took him under our wing.”

Lucas looked down, blushing. Ben studied him—dark red hair, slight frame, large dark eyes. Ben almost sighed. Another one he felt the need to watch out for.

As if his hands weren’t already full with Asher, who was compelling in his own way—dirty blond hair, large green eyes, hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet, though he’d probably never be that big.

Ben wondered how many more would be added to his family, how much room his heart had. Dean and Asher were still the center of his world, with Sam, Sarah, and Michael just behind them.

“How many people can fit in a heart?” Ben asked one day as he and Dean sparred in the basement.

“As many as you want,” Dean answered. “For a long time, only Sam and Dad fit in mine. They were the only ones I allowed myself to really care about.”

“What about all those people you saved?” Ben danced to the side, tapping Dean’s shoulder. “You cared for them, didn’t you? Like Asher’s brother and Lucas.”

Dean spun around, grappling for Ben. “Sure, I cared for them. But I didn’t love them. They left small marks on my heart. But if I’d had to choose between Asher’s brother and mine—Sam would be the one I saved.” Dean reached for Ben but he jumped, kicking off Dean’s stomach.  
Falling back, Dean grabbed Ben’s ankle, pulling him down. “For years, Dad and Sam were everything to me. But now I’ve let ya’ll all in—the kids, the girls, Sarah. You.”

Ben pulled away and Dean lay for a moment, trying to catch his breath. “Getting old?” Ben laughed and Dean scowled up at him, then grinned. He rolled over and stood, stretching.

“So, it’s okay to love multiple people?” Ben asked, still unsure.

“Yeah,” Dean replied softly. “Some people think love makes you weak. But, believe me, Ben—love makes you strong. I’d have let myself die years ago if I didn’t have Sam.”

“But what if you have to choose between two people you love?” Ben latched onto another worry.

Dean sank down, leaning against the wall. He studied Ben in silence for a moment and Ben waited him out.

“I don’t know,” Dean finally said. “Honestly, Ben… I don’t know. I never had to choose between Dad and Sam, but I think…” He closed his eyes. “I’d’ve chosen Sammy,” Dean whispered. “And now,” he continued, looking at Ben again, “there are so many to look out for. I don’t know…” He trailed off.

“You do know,” Ben said, sinking down beside him and leaning into his side. “You’d choose Sam, over anyone else.”

Dean dropped his head, pulling his knees up and resting his elbows on them. “Yeah,” he agreed, his voice a ghost of its usual self. “I would.”

Ben wrapped his arms around Dean and they sat in silence for a long time.

.

In 2013, two more people joined their family. By that time, Nathan and Kat were an official couple; so were Billy and Nora. Lucas always stayed with either Ben or Asher. Billy and Nathan didn’t care about Dean and Sam’s relationship; Ben wondered who besides Sarah and Michael even knew they were brothers.

In spring of ’13, Dean got a call from Bobby about two folks—some girl named Haley and her boyfriend Charlie.

“Haley?” Dean repeated into the phone. “From Colorado?”

Ben heard Bobby’s reply. “Yeah. She’s askin’ for you, Dean. By name.”

“Put her on,” Dean said.

Sam glanced up from the gun he was cleaning. The three of them were the only ones in the kitchen. “Wendigo?” he asked and Dean nodded.

“Dean?” Ben heard through the phone.

“Hey, Haley,” he replied gently. “How you been doin’?”

“Tommy’s dead,” she sobbed. “Ben, too. I’m alone, Dean. My baby brothers are gone.”

“Oh, Haley,” he breathed, sinking back against the counter. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Sam looked at Ben, a question on his face. “Her brothers died,” Ben whispered, gesturing for Sam to hush as he continued listening.

“Bobby found us,” Haley explained, barely understandable through her tears. “God, me and Charlie—we’re all that’s left.”

“Haley,” Dean said, “what can I do?”

“Help me,” she demanded, calming slightly. “A fucking monster killed Tommy, slaughtered Ben—teach me to fight.”

“Haley,” Dean sighed. “Trust me—vengeance never makes the pain fade. It’ll consume you, if you let it.”

“Please,” she whispered. “Imagine it was Sam.”

Dean raised his eyes to look at his little brother. “I’ll be there sometime tomorrow.”

.

Dean went alone, despite all protests. He was gone a week. When he got back, he had with him a shell-shocked woman and a bitter man, both weary, wary, and worn.

Ben turned thirteen that year and experienced his first kiss, courtesy Asher. They were flipping through some old sports magazines Lucas had found in the attic, from before the Pulse. Lucas was training with Sam and everyone else was somewhere doing something—and Ben honestly didn’t see the kiss coming. Asher leaned over and pressed his lips to Ben’s, raising his hand to the back of Ben’s head.

Ben froze, unsure of what to do, of how to react. “Asher?” he whispered into his best friend’s mouth.

Asher pulled back, jerking away. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, eyes wide. “Ben—” He went to stand but Ben grabbed his arm.

“Wait,” Ben said, meeting Asher’s gaze. “What—”

Looking down, Asher linked his hands, searching for words. “I just…” He sighed. “If you don’t want me to, I’ll never do it again.”

“Look at me,” Ben said and Asher raised his head. Ben moved forward and initiated their second kiss.

.

Kat warned Ben and Dean warned Asher and life continued. The similarities between Dean and Ben grew more pronounced by the month.

“It’s like lookin’ in a time warp,” Sam laughed one night at supper. “Kinda freaky.”

“Yet cool,” Lucas added. His hero-worship of Dean had partially shifted to Ben.

“Yeah,” Sam finished. “Yet cool.”

.

The house was full to the brim. Kat and Nathan shared a room; so did Nora and Billy. Sarah still had her own, and Michael. Rosie and Ava each had their own; Rich and Lucas shared, as did Asher and Ben. Haley and Charlie were given their own, as well.

They were preparing for war. “It’s still coming,” Sam said as he and Dean divided the group up to train. “Like it always has been.”

Charlie was already proficient in guns. “Been shootin’ since I was seven,” he shrugged.

Haley, too, had an excellent eye and the determination to back it up. Lucas and Nora were good at hand-to-hand. Nathan moved fluidly with any blade in his hand, though Billy had to work at it.

“I’m the smart one,” he joked. “Nate’s always been the physical one.”

Sarah, as their resident nurse/doctor, took Richie under her wing. Michael helped them out, raiding old libraries and bookstores for books on medicine and wounds.

Slowly, over six years, Dean, Sam, and Ben built a small, well-oiled army. They worked magnificently together, able to make up for each other’s weaknesses.

Ava worked at her premonitions, trying to discover how to control them, call them when she needed or wanted them. Rosie had long mastered her telepathy, though everyone had faith she stayed out of their minds.

Late in ’15, when just Rosie, Ben, and Sam were in the basement—Ben and Sam sparring, Rose flipping through an old fairytale book—Rosie said, “You’re the strongest, Sam.”

Sam paused and Ben swiftly checked his blow. “What, Rosie?” Sam asked.

She looked up from her book. “Out of all of us fire-children, you’re the strongest. Dean leads the warriors, but you command us gifted. You need to learn your limits, Sam. Soon.” She smiled and returned to her book.

Sam shared a glance with Ben, who shrugged. After a moment, they returned to sparring.


	3. From the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: ceteris paribus  
> Chapter: III. From the Past  
> Warnings: AU for both shows. Character death.  
> Pairings: Dean/Sarah, Dean/Sam, Kat/Nathan(OMC), Nora/Billy(OMC), Haley/Charlie(OMC), Ben/Asher, Asher/Ben/Lucas, Ben/Alec, Alec/Ben/Asher  
> Note: Until Alec is named as such, he goes by “Mirror.”

Towards the end of ’18, Sam and Ava had their first shared premonition. It was of Ben, they thought, fighting four people who moved just like him. 

“You lost,” Ava said, looking down at the kitchen table. “They were tall, strong—”

“Pale,” cut in Sam. “And they were faster than you.”

Ben and Dean stood side-by-side, leaning against the counter. Asher stood on Ben’s other side, brushing his shoulder. Everyone else was spread throughout the kitchen.

Kat was pregnant, five months along. Billy had asked Nora to marry him. Lucas had begun courting both Asher and Ben, and they welcomed him.

“Did he die?” Asher asked hoarsely.

Without glancing up from the table, Ava nodded.

“But they didn’t have barcodes,” Sam said. He looked from Ben to Dean and back. “Does everyone from Manticore?”

Ben nodded. “It’s how they kept track of us. Every one of us has a barcode.” He tilted his head. “Are you sure the people in your dream didn’t have ‘em?”

Sam closed his eyes and thought for a moment. “Yeah,” he said, meeting Ben’s gaze. “I’m sure.”

“But they fought like me?” Ben asked, disbelieving. “Nothing fights like an X5 except an X5.”

Sam shrugged. “I can’t tell you anything but what I saw.”

“Could you tell when?” Dean asked after a few minutes of everyone staying silent.

Sam shook his head at the same time Ava said, “No.”

Asher leaned in closer to Ben. Things had changed since they first met: Ben was six one, now, same height as Dean, and Asher had stopped growing at five nine. They were both slender and light, as opposed to Lucas’ dark coloring. Lucas himself was five ten and would probably not get much taller.

Nora had blossomed into a beautiful woman with dark eyes and long, wavy dark hair, with a dusky complexion. Billy towered over her at six three, since she was only five five. Nathan topped his little brother, though, at six four and a half. They both had light brown hair and blue eyes. Kat, like Nora, was five five. Rosie and Rich were growing up swiftly; Sam had told Dean, within Ben’s hearing, that Rose reminded him more of Monica every day.

“Remember her?” Sam had asked.

“Yeah,” Dean answered. “But do we really wanna talk about the past right now?”

Sam chuckled and Ben slipped away.

.

After Ava and Sam’s announcement, Ben went back to his room and threw himself on his bed. Asher and Lucas followed, flopping on either side of him.

“We’ll take care of you,” Asher said, turning over on his side to face Ben. Lucas wrapped his arm around Ben and added, “All of us.”

Ben shifted, drawing them both closer, and inhaled, savoring their mingled scents. He closed his eyes, listening to their heartbeats. Ben tried remembering Manticore, but it seemed so distant, far away. It’d been nearly ten years and the family he’d created outside those harsh walls overshadowed his unit.

 _Max_. He thought she might have been the most important to him, but he couldn’t even recall her face. Asher and Lucas, Dean and Sam—they replaced his unit. All of them had.

He fell asleep to Asher and Lucas’ soft whispers and steady heartbeats, to Asher’s lips on his forehead and Lucas’ on his neck.

.

 _In the barren cell sits a mirror image, a man completely identical to him. “Hey,” the doppelganger says_. 

_Ben looks around. “Manticore?” he asks, shivering_. 

_The man grins. “Like you never left, huh, 493?”_

_“Ben,” he retorts. “My name is Ben.”_

_Mirror shrugs. “Whatever.” He slips off the cot and Ben notices that he moves slowly, holding his right arm to his ribs._

_“Are you hurt?” he inquires, stepping forward, concerned despite himself._

_“I mouthed off,” Mirror explains. “Told Renfro what I thought about her plan.”_

_Ben doesn’t recognize the name and guesses she’d been brought in after the escape. “Why the Hell would you mouth off?”_

_Mirror laughs then winces. “They blame you. Say our blood is tainted. I’m the last twin alive because I’m the best, because I’ve survived every test they’ve thrown my way.”_

_Shuddering at the thought of whatever ‘tests’ Manticore could concoct, Ben finishes stepping close to his twin. “You should sit down if you’re wounded.”_

_Mirror smiles at him, a genuine smile of happiness. “Your concern is nice, Ben. Really. But I can’t. There’s too much to do.”_

_“I’m dreaming,” Ben says and his twin nods, walks around him to the door._

_“Follow me, Benny. Lots to see, lots to do,” he calls over his shoulder. Ben hurries after him._

_“Do you know Lydecker?” Ben asks, matching Mirror’s stride._

_“No. I’ve heard of him, but he was demoted after your unit escaped.” Mirror turns them down a corridor._

_“Do you know how many of us stayed free?”_

_Mirror pauses and glances at him. “Including you? Six, I think.”_

_Ben closes his eyes._

_“Two died that night, shot at the fence. Twelve were reclaimed, shoved into reindoctranation, and sent to different facilities across the world. Five fought too hard and were put down.” Mirror reaches out with his left hand, as if to touch Ben, but then lets his hand fall. “Six were unaccounted for, I think, including you, brother.”_

_“Why am I here?” Ben demands, unable to decide what he should feel._

_“Because I’ve been dreaming your life, Benny. It’s how I’ve managed to cling to sanity for the last eight years. Maintain my strength, I suppose you could say.”_

_“My life?” Ben repeats as Mirror starts them moving again._

_“Every night for near on a decade,” Mirror confirms. “From that night in the snow to that bastard you killed to your boys holding you as you fell asleep.” He grins. “You’ve given me a life, Ben. And you’re out, you’re free— **you** can stop what they have planned.” _

_“They?” Mirror speeds up so Ben matches his pace._

_“They thought I was out of it, too far gone. But I heard, and I remembered. I’ve been trying to reach you for months, brother.” He stops by a door and takes a deep breath, putting his hand on the knob. “I should have died that night; they did their best to kill me.” He looks at Ben, tightening his grip on the door. “You know why I didn’t?”_

_Ben shakes his head._

_“Because Dean’s words echoed in my head. My blood stopped flowing, my heart wasn’t beating, but what Dean told **you** about family and love played over and over. And I wouldn’t let those bastards kill me, Ben.” He snarls something Ben doesn’t understand and repeats, “I **wouldn’t**.” _

With rancor, Mirror shoves open the door and Ben follows him in. 

.

“Aw, shit,” Ben hissed as his eyes opened.

“Ben?” Asher asked, sitting up, trying to untangle himself from Ben and Lucas.

Lucas muttered and rolled over, pulling the comforter above his head.

“I have to talk to Sam,” Ben said and flung himself off the bed. “Go back to sleep, Ash. It’s five in the morning.”

Asher groaned and flopped back down. Ben smiled and softly shut the door behind him.

.

Dean and Sam were both in the kitchen, twined around each other. Ben waited a moment for them to notice him. And waited. Finally, he cleared his throat.

Sam raised his head to look over Dean. “Ben?” he asked breathlessly.

Dean pulled away and turned, leaning back against Sam. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”

Now that he was facing them, Ben’s certainty faltered. He wasn’t a psychic—he was a genetic experiment. A government-engineered super-soldier. And he’d always had a good imagination.  
“Ben?”

He looked up from the floor to meet Dean’s hazel eyes. Eyes exactly like his. The same as Mirror’s.

“I think I have a twin,” be blurted out. “In Manticore. And he’s in danger.”

Ben told them everything about the dream, everything Mirror had said, everything he could remember. His gaze drifted from Dean to the floor to around the kitchen and back to Dean again. As he spoke, his voice grew stronger; deep in his bones and soul, he knew he had a brother, someone who shared his blood.

And his brother was in danger.

As he finished, he kept his eyes on Dean. After a second of silence, Dean shifted, turning his head to glance at Sam. “Could it have been the other you saw?”

Sam nodded.

Dean chuckled, almost bitterly. “Guess Manticore _did_ steal my blood.”

.

For the remainder of the week, Ben was restless. He spent all his time exercising, training, trying to burn off his excess energy. Dean watched him, worrying.

“Ben, slow down,” he said, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

Ben twisted away, dropping down to do sit-ups. “Imagine you knew Sam was in danger,” Ben grated out, eyes hard, “but you didn’t know where or how, and you didn’t know when it would be too late.”

Dean stepped back. Ben paused and studied him—he was growing old. He was still in peak condition, but he had lines on his face that weren’t there when he asked if Ben had ever used a gun before, and he was a hair slower than he used to be.

Ben looked away. “Sorry,” he apologized softly. “That wasn’t fair. What Sam is to you… I’ve never even _met_ Mirror.”

Dean dropped next to him. “Rich had an idea. It might help find where your twin is.”

“Really?” Ben almost winced at the naked hope in his voice.

“He suggested you think back to your dream and let Rosie into your head. She might be able to lock onto Mirror and then track him down in the real world.” Dean’s voice conveyed no hint about how he felt towards the plan.

Letting a little girl into his head… Ben studied his hands, turning over every possibility. No telling what all she might see…

But she already knew everything, anyway. She probably knew stuff about him before _he_ did. And she never told anyone, never _judged_ anyone…

“There are really people out there who want to kill Rose?” Ben asked, anger threading through the words.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, equal anger in his tone.

Ben sighed and climbed to his feet, stretching. He offered Dean a hand and pulled him up. They stood eye to eye now and Dean chuckled. “You look _exactly_ like I did. That is so _cool_.”

With a smile, Ben dropped his head. “I gotta go talk to Rose,” he said, clapping Dean on the shoulder and trotting off.

.

He stopped to see Asher, explaining what he hoped to do. Ash had been good, going with his moods, and Ben knew he had to wonder what would change if he _did_ find Mirror and bring him home.

“He won’t replace you,” Ben whispered, threading his fingers through Asher’s long hair, resting their foreheads together. “I swear, Ash—no one could _ever_ replace you.”

Desperately, Asher kissed him, and Ben understood—like Dean, everyone Asher ever loved left him, _died_ on him—and Asher loved the family they’d created, but whatever had happened the night his brother died—

So Ben held him, kissed him reassuringly, murmured promises into his skin. “I’m yours, Ash, forever—I swear. Believe me.”

Asher pulled back, looked up into his eyes. “I do, Ben. I do.”

They stood together for a moment before Asher gently shoved him away. “Go see the professor,” he said, attempting a joking tone. “Find your long-lost twin.”

Ben smiled at him and bounded up the stairs, following Rosie’s scent. He hoped Asher would track Lucas down, seek comfort. The two older men were good for each other, able to relate in a way Ben still couldn’t manage.

If Dean hadn’t told him about the X-Men one night, he wouldn’t have even gotten Asher’s reference.

.

Rose was sitting on her bed, waiting for him. She’d pulled her dark hair back loosely and her brilliant green eyes were calm. “Hey, Ben,” she welcomed him, with a bright smile. She gestured to the bed in front of her. “Sit down, please.”

Almost nervously, he did, raising a hand to brush through his hair. She toned down the smile a bit and asked, “Are you sure you want to do this? I can’t promise it’ll work, that we’ll learn anything at all.”

Rosie reached out to take his hands. “And you have to be _sure_ , Ben. You have to open your mind, lay everything bare before me.” Her mask slipped for a moment and he saw how apprehensive _she_ was about what’d been proposed. “Ben, I’ve never done anything like this. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He smiled now, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Cupping her cheeks, he told her gently, “I have faith in you, Rose.”

Ben pulled back and said, “Now, tell me what to do.”

.

In the end, it was deceptively simple. He stretched out on her bed and she curled up against his chest. “Just breathe,” she whispered with her voice, and then he heard her in his mind.   
_Trust me, Ben. Remember him, that place you saw. Remember… just remember…_

And he fell back into Mirror’s cell.

.

_“You’re back?” Mirror asks, disbelief in his voice, spread out across his face. “I thought when you were pulled away, you were gone.” Mirror has bruises on his face, down his bare chest. There are old wounds—some faded pale with time, others red and angry. Ben feels rage burning through him._

_“Of course I came back.” Ben rushes across the cell and drops to his knees, lightly brushing his fingertips over the bruises, the rips in Mirror’s skin. “What did they do to you?”_

_Mirror tries laughing and coughs instead. “Everything they could to break me.” He attempts sitting up but falls back down, gasping as he hits the hard metal of his cot. Ben reaches out and lightly grips Mirror’s shoulder, gently raises him up and sets him against the wall. Mirror winces but makes no sound._

_“If this is a dream,” Ben asks, settling next to him, “how come you’re hurt?”_

_Mirror goes to shrug and clearly thinks better of it. “I dunno,” he answers after a moment. He closes his eyes, shifts, tries to find a more comfortable position. He winces but, again, makes no sound._

_Ben leans in as close as possible without touching, attempting to offer comfort without hurting Mirror more. Mirror sighs and barely leans in, brushing Ben’s shoulder. Ben reaches up to lightly grip his neck and Mirror’s muscles tighten but he doesn’t move._

_“How long do we have until they—” Ben can’t say the words._

_“Days,” Mirror says. He shifts even closer, bringing his arms up to cradle his ribs, and Ben lets go of Mirror’s neck to softly lay his arm across his shoulders. “Something happened—I don’t know what. But it made them angry and they don’t want to keep me anymore.”_

_Despair and rage mingle in Ben’s belly, cementing with purpose: he will get Mirror out. Nothing will keep him from saving his brother._

_Nothing at all._

_“I’ll get you out, Mirror,” Ben whispers. “I swear.”_

_Mirror doesn’t make a sound, but he lowers his head to rest in the crook between Ben’s -shoulder and neck._

_Ben closes his eyes and clasps his arms around his twin._

.

“Not again,” Ben snarled as his eyes shot open. Next to him, he felt Rosie stirring.

“Seattle,” she said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “I’m sure of it. He’s outside of Seattle.”   
Ben slid off of the bed and she looked at him seriously. “If you don’t get him soon, Ben, it’ll be too late.”

.

By the end of the day, Ben, Nathan, and Charlie were packed and gone. Ben refused to risk Dean or Sam on a mission that could easily result in death, and Dean refused to let him go alone.

So they compromised. Ben let two pure humans go with him and they would follow his commands without question or hesitation.

By noon the next day they were in Washington. Ben was nervous and excited and so angry it made his teeth hurt. He hadn’t been so furious since he killed Chris. He could practically feel Mirror in his arms again, shivering and trembling, too exhausted to sleep.

Ben followed Rosie’s instructions to Manticore. The facility loomed above him—and it was like he’d never left. He was a terrified boy again, a soldier without worth or hope.

And then Mirror’s words echoed in his head— _You’re back? I thought when you were pulled away, you were gone._

Ben put to use skills taught by Manticore and honed by Winchester. He got all three of them in without notice. Ben looked hard at Charlie and Nathan, commanding them, “Don’t kill anybody.”

It wasn’t concern for the doctors or officers, but rather how they’d treat the soldiers after. Ben remembered what happened when any humans were hurt in Manticore.

Once inside the walls, _something_ tugged him along, so quickly the humans could scarcely keep up. He came across one of the doctors, who smelled like blood and _family_ , and Ben lunged for him, tossing him against the wall.

The doctor’s eyes were wide and frightened. “How did you get out?” he gasped, flinching away.

“ _Where is he?_ ” Ben demanded and the doctor realized, “You’re the twin. The one who escaped.”

Nathan and Charlie caught up, took positions on either side, keeping watch.

“What have you done to him?” Ben hissed, trying to remember why killing the spineless bastard would be a bad idea.

But the doctor clamed up. They didn’t have the time to make him talk _and_ get Mirror out safely.

Ben turned to Nathan. “Take him to the car,” he said, throwing the bastard into Nathan’s arms. “Get him _out of my sight_.”

Nathan tucked his knife away and knocked the doctor’s head against the wall, then picked him up and loped down the hall.

Ben stalked the way the doctor had come, following blood and family, and feared what he would find at the end. Charlie hurried in his wake, and Ben could smell his nervousness, and—frighteningly enough—it made him smile.

.

The doors of the cells had been made with transgenics in mind, so Ben knew he couldn’t kick it down. Charlie pointed out the control that the human handlers used and Ben punched hard enough to snap it.

It made a satisfying crunching sound and the door slid open. Ben hurried in and froze—Mirror was huddled in the corner, still and silent, eyes squeezed shut. And there was blood oozing from him, blood for _days_ , and Charlie gasped.

Slowly Ben made his way forward, dropped down just out of reach. He spoke of inane things, keeping his voice soft and calm, begging his twin to reach out to him.

And Mirror’s eyes opened, met his. “Ben?” Mirror asked, voice less than a murmur, hoarse and stilted.

“Yeah,” Ben replied, slipping forward a little more. “’m’here to bust you out, brother.”

“Thought you’d never get here,” Mirror said, and Ben knew he was trying to make a joke but it just wasn’t funny. “Took you long enough.”

“We have to go,” Charlie cut in. “ _Now_.”

Ben no longer cared how the soldiers would be treated, not now that he’d seen just what condition Mirror was in. He helped his brother stand and supported almost all of his weight—Mirror was entirely too thin.

“If you see anybody,” Ben told Charlie, “kill them.”

.

Mirror slept the whole way to Phoenix. Ben told Nathan to stop for nothing and they broke 80mph the entire time. Ben sat in the back, holding his brother, listening to his heartbeat and inhaling his scent. He prayed that Mirror stayed alive to Phoenix, because if he died— _if he died—_

Ben couldn’t even contemplate that.

The bastard doctor rode in the trunk and Ben couldn’t care less if he had enough air to breathe.

.

They hit Phoenix at midnight. Nathan carted the doctor in and Ben snarled, “Throw him in the basement.” Ben cradled Mirror in his arms and bounded up the stairs, yelling for Dean and Sarah.

The next two weeks were hectic. Ben never left Mirror’s side, and Asher rarely left his. Dean extracted from the doctor everything that had been done, though he didn’t tell Ben.

Sarah did her best for Mirror but since he wasn’t human—Ben cut her off by burying his face in Mirror’s shoulder. It was up to Mirror to live or die.

And on his fifteenth day out of Manticore, Mirror opened his huge hazel eyes and asked for breakfast. His wounds were healed and they’d been feeding him broth, and Sarah had explained to Ben that he’d been unconscious because his mind had to cope with the trauma.

Ben helped Mirror down the stairs; he was still shaky, still a bit weak, but a few more days and he’d be fine. They didn’t speak and Ben situated him at the counter, threw together a meal fit for a king.

Mirror smiled at him when Ben set the plate down. Ben settled next to him and watched him eat, stealing a bite every now and then.

“Tell me about everyone who lives here,” Mirror requested, so Ben did.

After Mirror finished breakfast, they relocated to the den and curled up together on the couch. Ben continued describing the family and finally cut himself off, saying, “You need a name.”

Mirror shrugged. “What you’ve been calling me is fine.”

Ben studied him, cataloguing the differences: Mirror’s hair was shorter and he was thinner. And that was it.

Mirror slumped against him, slipping back into healing sleep. Ben rested his chin on Mirror’s head, resolving to come up with a name worthy of his brother.

.

Mirror slept the day away and Ben stayed with him. The family bustled around them but Mirror never stirred. His heartbeat pulsed steadily beneath Ben’s hand and his breath brushed by Ben’s cheek, and he dozed now and again.

Asher kept him company some of the time, though Dean had given him a job for the day. Sarah stopped by every three hours to check on Mirror. And Rose sank into the recliner, watched them with solemn green eyes.

“He’s dreaming the best dream of his life, Ben,” she said. “That’s a priceless gift.” She smiled gently, closing her eyes. “He feels safe, warm. Loved. He’s never known that before.” She sighed in contentment, sinking back into the chair. “He’s happy, Ben.”

Ben smiled, cradling Mirror closer.

.

At dinner, Mirror got his name.

Later, Ben couldn’t even be sure what the comment was. Dean said something to Sam and Mirror butted in with a suggestion. Dean shot back with, “Don’t be a smart-a—”

And Sam cut him off with, “Aleck. Don’t be a smart aleck.” When Dean glanced at him, Sam nodded towards Rose.

Ben snorted. Not like Rosie didn’t already know every curse-word in Dean’s head, and more besides.

“Alec,” Rose said, looking at Mirror. “That’s your name.”

He met her eyes, then Ben’s, tilting his head. “Alec?” he repeated. “I like it.”

.

No one ever mistook Ben for Alec or vice versa. They carried themselves differently, spoke differently, wore different expressions.

After a few weeks, Asher pulled Ben aside and pushed him against the wall, pressed into him, kissed him hard and bruising. Ben got over his shock quickly and kissed Asher back, wrapping one arm around his torso, tangling his other hand in Asher’s hair.

“ _Mine_ ,” Asher growled into Ben’s mouth, biting his lip. “You _swore_.”

Ben knew he’d been neglecting Ash, Lucas—even Dean. But Alec had needed him, just like Asher had when they first met. “I’m sorry,” Ben whispered, moving from Asher’s mouth to his neck. “I was trying to make him whole again.”

Asher and Alec had prowled around each other, hackles raised and teeth bared. Ben hadn’t said anything to either, hoping they’d finally make peace. But by Asher’s display, Ben knew he’d have to do something.

Ben swept Asher into his arms and carried him to their room, content to let Asher reclaim him.

.

Ben crawled out of bed a few minutes past midnight. He kissed Asher’s lips and pulled the comforter up, slipped on his pants, and padded from the room.

Alec met him in the kitchen, eyes hooded. “You were his, first,” Alec said without meeting his gaze. “I knew that from the beginning.” He sounded so weary, so defeated, it made Ben’s heart clench.

Alec’s body had fully healed but his soul was still wounded, and the only way to heal him would hurt Asher beyond recall. Ben had no idea how to explain to either of them.

Before Michael found him in the snow, life was _nowhere_ near this complicated.

“Alec,” he breathed, swiftly moving to his brother’s side, enfolding him in a tight embrace. “Mirror,” he whispered into Alec’s neck. “I can’t lose either of you.”

Alec’s hands were warm on his back, his heartbeat loud in Ben’s ears. He closed his eyes and immersed himself in Alec’s scent, lightly nipped at Alec’s neck. “The three of us need to talk,” he gasped as Alec bit him back. “Tomorrow—today.”

“Okay,” Alec replied, digging his nails into Ben’s skin. “Whatever you say.”

.

Ben took Asher and Alec away from the house, to an old park he had first shown Asher seven years before. He walked between them and ignored both, trying to think of something to say. He’d told Dean they’d be gone most of the day, and almost asked Dean’s advice—but then Dean said, “Just tell ‘em the truth, Benny. You’re all they want. So let ‘em know you’re there for both, and I can almost guarantee it’ll work out.”

“Almost?” Ben repeated and Dean shrugged.

So Ben told them that they had to come with him and he directed the way to the park. He couldn’t think of any words adequate for what he wanted to convey, so he sank to the ground in silence and they flopped on either side. The quiet went unbroken for near on an hour before Ben asked, “Is it jealously?” He didn’t look up from running his fingers through the dirt. “Is it a lack of faith?”

Alec and Asher asked at the same time, “What?”

Ben chuckled but it was a mirthless sound. “I can’t choose. And I don’t want to. So learn to get along.” He still didn’t look up.

Asher scoffed and said, “You were mine, first.”

“Technically,” Alec cut in, “he was mine, first. Seein’ as how we’re twins and all.”

But Ben knew Alec would step back if he chose Asher. He’d stay as long as Ben let him, always waiting, but he’d stand aside.

“What about Lucas?” Asher asked. “Where’s he fit?”

Ben shrugged. “Wherever he wants. But it’s the two of you I’m worried about.”

He shot to his feet in one smooth movement and said, “I’m goin’ for a walk. I’ll return in a while.” He strode away and didn’t glance back.

.

He wandered for hours, just thinking. He remembered Manticore and his unit; he remembered being found by Michael and accepted by the Winchesters. He remembered meeting Asher.

He remembered learning of Alec and how that felt.

He couldn’t choose between them. He couldn’t imagine a life without them both, not now that he’d found them.

And that absolutely terrified him in a way nothing ever had before.

Finally the sun neared the horizon and he made his way back to them. He observed them as he walked up—no blood, on bruises, no angry expressions. They were sitting cross-legged, knee-to-knee, just looking at each other.

“We’ve come to a compromise,” Alec announced as Ben sank next to them.

Asher turned to face him. “We’ll share you.”

Ben glanced from him to Alec and back. “Well,” Ben laughed, “I’m glad for that.”

Alec lunged without warning, tackling him back. Ben reached out, grasping for Asher; when he connected with Asher’s thigh, he gripped and pulled. Asher helped him by crawling up alongside them.

“Luke’s gonna be jealous,” Ben gasped out, the happiest he’d ever been.

“Don’t care,” Asher rasped, and Alec just ripped off Ben’s shirt.

.

They returned to the house an hour after sunset, laughing and shoving and acting like the boy only Asher had ever truly been.

Lucas was reading in the den and he looked up as they tramped in. He stared hard at each of them; only Alec didn’t fidget. And then Lucas smiled.

“I wish you well,” he said softly and Ben breathed a sigh of relief.

Lucas returned to his book and Alec mentioned that he was starved. “Sarah packed up the leftovers,” Lucas told them.

Alec rushed for the kitchen, Ben on his heels, but Asher sat next to Lucas and leaned over, following along in the novel.

“I’m glad Asher has Lucas,” Ben murmured as Alec rummaged in the fridge.

“Because they’re both human?” Alec guessed, moving back with a platter of food.

“Yeah,” Ben nodded, stepping over. “They have a connection I can never make.”

Alec gave him a sympathetic smile and placed the platter on the counter, reaching out to ruffle Ben’s hair. Ben slapped at his hand and reached around him to snag a pork chop. “So, how’d ya’ll come to a compromise?” Ben asked, dodging out of Alec’s reach.

Alec shrugged. “We talked about it. There’s plenty of you to go around, so we’ll share.” He snatched the food out of Ben’s hand and gulped it down, smirking. Ben glared, though he couldn’t keep from smiling. “I’m hungry,” Alec explained, licking his fingers and picking up another chop.

Ben laughed and moved closer, claiming his own.

.

Two months after Ben broke him out of Manticore, Alec was finally back to full strength. He and Ben would race around the house, trying to see just how fast they could go in tight quarters.

Alec and Asher had discovered a shared sense of humor, something Ben was glad about. He didn’t want to be the only thing holding them together.

Kat gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She and Nathan named their daughter Kaitlyn Abigail.

Alec was completely enthralled with her, couldn’t be moved from her side. “She’s so little,” he whispered, touching her tiny, perfect hand, much to Kat’s amusement. Alec watched Katie with wonder, always listening for her cry, the first to respond. Nathan told him how to hold her, taught him to change her, and sometimes reclaimed his daughter before Alec was ready to let her go.

Alec would curl up with Ben and Asher on their bed and talk about Katie, tell them every single thing she had done that day, every noise and face she made. Ben carded his fingers through Alec’s hair, losing himself in his twin’s voice.

Ben had wondered if Alec would grow to care for anyone besides him, and maybe Rosie. Judging by the way he spoke of Katie, Ben no longer had to worry.

.

Four months after Alec was free, in March, he and Ben sparred for the first time. Dean, Sam, Haley, and Asher were the only audience. Ben and Alec started on opposite sides of the basement just staring at each other.

Ben hadn’t fought an equal in ten years and he looked forward to it.

Alec lunged across the space first and Ben moved to meet him. Ben lost himself in the fight, exhilarated like he hadn’t been since his own escape. He whirled around his twin, laughing, and Alec caught his wrist, knocking him off-balance. Ben grabbed Alec’s arm, spinning him around. Alec laughed and moved faster, too quick for the human eye. Ben matched him.

And next thing he knew, Ben was face-down on the floor, Alec sitting on his back.

“Shit,” Dean breathed. “ _Damn_ , I’m old.”

Sam scoffed. “You were never that good.”

Ben turned his head to look at their watchers and met Haley’s wide green eyes. She looked awed—and frightened.

“I kicked your ass,” Alec said softly, his breath tickling Ben’s ear. Ben shivered when Alec nipped at the lobe.

“You did,” Ben agreed, shoving off the ground and flipping himself over. Alec lightly settled on Ben’s torso, knees on either side.

“You’re out of practice,” Alec purred, leaning down to nuzzle Ben’s neck.

“I am,” he agreed, sliding his hand under Alec’s shirt. “Good thing you’re here, huh?”

Alec’s laughter bubbled against Ben’s skin and he barely noticed when Haley and the Winchesters left.

A moment passed and Ben paused when he heard Asher follow. But Alec whispered, “Later. Worry about him later.” And that seemed a mighty fine idea.

.

Dean sent everyone but Kat, Ben, Alec, and Rosie on various missions across the country. (He didn’t give any explanation why his two best soldiers weren’t allowed out, though Ben and Alec asked. Frequently and loudly.) So the four of them were alone in the house for over a week. Ben came downstairs on Thursday and found Alec holding Katie, softly singing.  
He paused in the doorway of the den, listening. Alec looked right holding a child. Happy.

“How could Manticore hurt children?” Alec asked suddenly, raising his head to meet Ben’s eyes. “How could they _kill_ children?” He sounded completely dumbfounded, lost.

“I don’t know,” Ben replied, striding across the room and settling next to him. “Honestly, I don’t. But there’re even some hunters out there who want to hurt Rosie and all the kids like her.”

“Because they’re gifted?” Alec cradled Katie against his chest.

“Yeah. Because they’re more than human.” Ben nestled close to his brother and Alec continued his lullaby.

.

That night, curled up together beneath the comforter, face-to-face and breath-to-breath, Ben asked for the first time in the waking world, “What did they do to you, Mirror?”

Alec shifted closer, tucking himself against Ben’s chest. “A few days after the escape, I was pulled aside. They gave me to the doctors, told them to find out if there was anything wrong with me. They cut me open, over and over and over again.” He shuddered, voice lowering. “I was awake for most of it, scared out of my mind. The few minutes I could sleep, I dreamed of running through the snow, of a man taking care of me. In my sleep, I was free.” Alec stayed silent for a handful of heartbeats. “Then they shoved me back with my unit. I heard that a few soldiers died during the testing. Over the next couple of years, there were new tests every now and then—more of the twins died. But not me.” He pulled back and stared into Ben’s eyes. “I refused to let those spineless bastards kill _me_.”

Ben tried thinking of something to say but Alec continued, “So I decided to quit following orders. I stopped holding my tongue. I wondered if they _could_ kill me. Because no matter what they did, I _never died_.” Alec laughed and sat up, rubbing his eyes. “I _should have_ , Ben.” He flopped back down. “And then they came up with some new drug. It knocked me out, slowed my heart. I was stuck, not awake but not asleep, and my body wasn’t responding. I could only listen as Renfro talked to the doctors. She said stuff about the war starting soon and how everything had to be ready. I shouldn’t have heard, but I did.”

Ben asked, “Were you the only one left?”

Alec nodded. “I knew I had to get out, that soon they would finally kill me, too. I was so tired, Ben. I just wanted to stop hurting.”

Running his hand along Alec’s chest, Ben slipped beneath the cloth of his shirt. He kneaded his fingers in Alec’s skin, purring slightly.

Alec’s sudden laugh broke the stillness of the room and he arched into the touch. “That’s enough talkin’,” Alec decided, and Ben agreed.

.

There were four more days alone in the house. Kat spent most of her time organizing supplies in the pantries, leaving her daughter with Ben and Alec. Alec would tell the baby stories, often pulling Ben in as well. Apparently, a fantastic imagination was inherited in the blood. Sometimes Kat and Rosie would listen, too. Ben and Alec would trade off with the tale, able to follow each other with ease, sharing a mind.

Ben loved that feeling. He’d noticed Dean and Sam often seemed so in-tuned with each other, and Ben had watched, wondering.

The last night before the family would start trickling home, on Sunday, Ben woke up in bed alone. He tracked Alec down the kitchen where he was talking with Rosie. He considered interrupting, since both knew he was there anyway, but instead backed off and returned to their room.

As he slipped back into bed, Rosie’s words to Alec replayed in his mind: _You’ll have to choose. The knowledge is all in your head, Alec, buried deep. But you have to remember._

.

Michael, Nora, and Rich showed up first, noon on Monday. By three, Billy, Haley, Sarah, and Charlie arrived. Nathan and Ava didn’t make it home till six Tuesday morning. Lucas and Sam limped in just before dusk that evening.

No one had heard from Dean and Asher.

By Friday, Sam and Ben were frantic. Rosie had searched for them, sought out their minds—nothing. Ava tried summoning visions and got only headaches.

Everyone met in the dining room and tried to think of what could possibly have gone wrong. Sam beat himself up for letting Dean and Asher go somewhere alone. Ben paced around, thinking up every possibility, torturing himself with horrific ideas.

On Saturday, a week after everyone else made it home, Rosie woke the house with a scream. Ben and Alec were the first to her room, Sarah just behind them. “Rosie, Rose,” Ben said, lightly shaking her. Her eyes stared sightlessly and she trembled in his grip, gasping and whimpering. Sarah told everybody to go back to sleep; only she, Alec, and Ben stayed with Rosie.

It was a long five hours before Rosie woke up. When she finally did, she whispered, “I found them,” and collapsed in Sarah’s arms.

.

According to Rose, Dean and Asher were together, thankfully, being held by Manticore. “The same place you were, Alec,” she said, gulping down hot chocolate. “They’re trying to figure out what Dean is.”

“What he is?” Sam repeated. “He’s human.”

Rose looked at him and shook her head. “You know better than that, Sam. He’s like you.” She turned to Ben and continued, “They’ve realized he shares your DNA, Ben, yours and Alec’s. And they’re gonna turn to Asher next, because he’s with Dean. And he won’t survive what they do.”

Ben ground his teeth, clenched his fists. “We have to go,” he declared. “ _Now_.” He rushed from the dining room, Alec just behind him. They armed themselves from the gun cabinet and no one tried to stop them. No one got in their way or said a thing until Ben paused at the door. He glanced back to meet Sam’s eyes.

“I know you want to come with us,” he began, moving his gaze to cover everyone. “But this is something that’ll be easier with just the two of us.” He strode forward to grip Sam’s shoulder. “I’ll bring him back to you, Sam. I promise.”

.

Ben drove no slower than 100mph the entire way to Seattle. They left the car in the woods, ten miles away from the perimeter.

“Think they’ll have tightened security?” Ben whispered.

“It’s been about half a year,” Alec murmured in reply. “If they did, it’ll be loose again.”

They waited the couple of hours till sundown and hopped the fence, snuck in. A technician never saw them coming and Alec snapped his neck, stole his ID card. They ghosted down the hall, searching out either of the familiar scents, killing every human they came across.

At last, Ben paused, tilting his head. “This way,” he whispered and took off down the hall to the right. Alec followed and Ben slammed into the door, peeling his eyes for a control, but it was blank. He slapped at the door then the walls, cursing and snarling. Alec tried sliding all of their stolen badges through the reader and none of them worked.

“Asher and Dean are both in there,” Ben said, slumping against the cold metal. “Both alive.”

Alec leaned beside him. “If we find Renfro,” he suggested, “we can get them out _and_ learn everything that’s been done to them.”

Ben felt the bloodlust rising. “Let’s do it.”

Alec tracked down the command center by following Renfro’s scent(“Never could forget that bitch,” Alec’d snarled) and Ben kicked in the door; they tore through the humans inside until only one was alive.

“Renfro,” Alec growled and she hissed in reply, “494.”

“Alec,” he said. “My name is _Alec_.”

The steel-haired woman turned her sharp gaze on Ben. “493?” she guessed and laughed.  
Ben shivered at the hollow sound.

“You’ve come for Winchester and the boy?” she continued, ignoring the carnage around her. “You’re too late. It’s already started.”

Lunging forward, Ben grabbed her neck, ripping off her ID badge. “Come with us,” he suggested, pulling her along.

The alarm had been sounded and Alec hit a button. He stayed behind a moment before catching up and the horrific noise ended. “Told ‘em one of the technicians is a jumpy fella,” he explained. Ben nodded.

Renfro scoffed. “You can’t hope to win.”

Ben ignored her and shoved her to Alec, who grinned nastily, when they reached Dean and Asher’s cell. He ran her card through the reader and the door slid open.

Dean was in the corner, limp and barely breathing. His favorite jacket—beat-up, leather, older than Ben—had been spread over him. Asher was curled up beside him, whispering about their life at the house and how they’d go back there, and Sam and Ben would greet them, and the world would be good again.

Renfro’s voice cut through his babble. “We broke Winchester.” She sounded gleeful. “Take him home, if you want—he won’t be the same.”

Asher flinched and shot to his feet, whirling around to face them, hovering protectively above Dean. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Ben.”

Asher flew across the cell and Ben caught him buried his face in Asher’s neck. “I’m not hurt,” Asher assured him. “But I can’t wake Dean up.”

Alec slammed Renfro into the wall and pressed against her. “What did you bastards do to him?”

She smirked. “Same thing we did to you, 494. Interesting blood amongst the three’a ya.”

Ben crouched down next to Dean and lifted up the jacket, examined what he could. There wasn’t a lot of blood, not like when he’d found Alec. But there were numerous cuts—slim, narrow slices—all down Dean’s torso. He was breathing shallowly, pale and cold.

“If we don’t get him home soon,” Ben said, slipping Dean into the leather jacket, “he might not be fine.”

“He won’t be fine either way, 493,” Renfro laughed and Alec shoved her harder against the wall.

“Shut up,” Alec hissed. He knocked her head into the wall and she slumped down. He let her fall to the floor.

Ben gripped Den’s shoulders and lifted; Alec rushed over and grabbed his feet. Between them, they cradled him, and Alec told Asher, “Pick the bitch up. We hafta get outta here.”

It was entirely too easy. Ben looked over his shoulder the whole way to the car. They tossed Renfro in the trunk and Asher sank shotgun. “Stay with them,” Ben told Alec. “If I’m not back in half an hour, go home.”

It was entirely too easy. The whole thing. So Manticore must know something they didn’t, or had some sort of tracker in Dean, or—Ben stopped that train of thought. He hurried back to the control room and bypassed the bodies, made immediately for all the flashing buttons. He hit each of them, one after another, letting all of the transgenics out. He glanced at the screen, taking stock: there were few, if any, humans still alive in Manticore.

And it had been entirely too easy.

The soldiers peeked out of the cells and slowly left, unsure, but Ben had to find if they’d placed a tracker in Dean. Learning from Renfro miles down the road wouldn’t help one bit. He searched everywhere he could think of, time running out, and then he heard a voice calling, “This way! Leave this way!”

He followed the sound, dodging through the crowd of transgenics, and paused when he saw a man/dog thing, standing a full head above everyone else—he might even be taller than Sam. Behind him, he pulled another man/dog person, almost identical, though not quite.

“Huh,” Ben said and hurried back the way he’d come.

.

Ben sat in the back, supporting Dean, making sure Dean breathed. Dean never moved on his own, beyond his chest barely rising and falling. “Hurry, Alec,” Ben whispered, running his hand along Dean’s forehead.

Asher shotgun and explained what he remembered: they’d been tracking what they thought was a werewolf and got jumped by a posse of kids. “They fought like tornados,” Asher said, shivering. “Like the two’a _you_.”

Alec met Ben’s gaze in the rearview. “X7s,” he guessed. “Creepy suckers.”

“I woke up in that cell, alone,” Asher went on. “I don’t know how long I was in there, but finally the door opened and they tossed Dean in.” Asher’s voice shook. “He wasn’t moving, Ben. He just laid there. So I pulled him away from the door, terrified they’d take him again. They’d left me his jacket and taken his gun, his knives and mine—everything that could be used as a weapon.” He fell silent and wiped his eyes.

“You did what you could, Ash,” Alec told him softly. “All you could.” His voice sincere and warm, he added, “You did good, Asher. Even Ben and I couldn’t’a done better.”

“He’s right, Ash,” Ben confirmed, then said, “Alec, drive faster.”

.

The hours passed slowly. Finally, Asher drifted off, slumped against the door.

A few minutes after, Alec said softly, “It was too easy, Ben.”

Ben sighed, “I know.”

Alec tossed his phone behind him and Ben caught it. “We’ll need Rosie,” Alec commanded. “And Sarah.” He thought for a minute. “Nathan, too.”

Ben stared at the phone, then the back of Alec’s head. “What?”

“Ben, we can’t risk the house. We have no idea what’s been put in his body. So call them. Tell Sarah to meet us at the fallback location, and to bring Rose and Nathan with her.”

So Ben, after a moment, did. As he spoke to Sarah, Alec suggested, “And Charlie, to take Ash back home.”

But Ben was hit with a sudden thought. “What if they put something in him, too?”

Alec slapped the wheel. “Damnit. We’ll need to get answers outta that bitch before anyone can go home.”

Sarah promised to meet them and Ben said, “We’ll call once we hit the city.”

.

Asher slept the entire way to the safehouse and Dean never stirred. Once they entered Phoenix, Ben called Sarah. Alec and Ben hadn’t talked in over fifty miles and Ben’s voice filled the car.

After he parked, Alec gently picked Asher up and carried him in, then came back to help with Dean. Again they cradled him between them, and softly set him on the bed in the back room.

Alec reclaimed Asher from the main room’s sofa and placed him in the next room over.

“Anything?” he asked Ben, who’d carefully prowled around. Ben shook his head. “Yeah,” Alec sighed. “Me either.”

Waiting for Sarah, they paced from one room to the next, silent. Almost half an hour passed before they heard a car on the gravel drive.

“They brought the Impala,” Ben laughed in disbelief.

Alec said, “I’ll get the bitch outta the trunk.” He paused to harshly kiss Ben, then headed out the door.

.

Ben hadn’t come up with a plan for how to determine where _or_ how either Asher or Dean had been marked. Or even _if ___they had. How Rosie would know escaped him.

Sarah checked Dean then Asher and said, “They’ll both heal. No permanent damage.” She sank against the wall. “Thank god.”

Rose looked in on Asher first, walking up to the bed and tangling her fingers in his hair. She leaned over him, pressing their foreheads together, and closed her eyes. Ben watched her; Sarah, Nathan, and Alec were in with Dean. Charlie was checking the perimeter.

Rose sagged forward and Ben rushed to catch her, cradling her in his arms. “Rose,” he called softly, gently tapping her cheek. “Rosie, look at me.”

Her eyes fluttered open. “He’s clean,” she whispered. “He can go home.” She shifted, turning her face into his chest, nestling close.

“How d’ya know, Rosie?” he asked, sinking down beside Asher, still holding her.

“There’s nothing in his body that shouldn’t be,” she muttered drowsily. “I’ll go look at Dean after I rest.”

“Okay. You did good, Rose.” He kissed her forehead and moved around, trying to make her more comfortable, content to hold her while she slept.

Alec and Sarah looked in on them from time to time, Sarah smiling at the picture they made.  
Finally, five hours after Sarah and the others arrived, Rose and Asher stirred. Asher curled into Ben and Rose stretched, slipping out of his arms. “You’re fine, Ash,” she said, smiling and patting his shoulder. “I’m gonna track down some food, then I’ll see Dean.”

As she walked out of the room, Ben leaned down and gently kissed Asher, slowly deepening it. “You worried me, Ash,” he admitted. Asher lifted his arms, curling one around Ben’s neck, the other slipping beneath his shirt.

“I worried me,” Asher replied. “And I was terrified that Dean would die in front of me, and I couldn’t—” He shuddered and Ben kissed him again.

.

Asher ate a sandwich then Charlie drove him home. Ben and Alec wrapped around him for a few minutes, promising to see him soon. “The house is safe,” Alec whispered. “We’ll come back in a while.”

Asher had never been good at goodbye. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t look back as Charlie drove away.

“He’ll be fine,” Alec assured Ben.

Ben nodded. “I know, Mirror. I’d just feel better if one of us was at the house.”

Together they turned and reentered the building. Nathan had taken up Charlie’s post and Sarah sat next to Dean. Rose was on his other side, kneeling and leaning over him, hands on his face. Her eyes were closed and her mouth open, though she made no sound.

“Ben,” Rose said, voice hollow and soft. “Touch my arm.”

He did and everything _wrenched_.

.

_He hits the ground with a **thump** , all air rushing from his body. He lies on the rocks for a moment, waiting for the pain to fade, but it never lessens. So he forces himself up, settles on his haunches, and looks around. _

_It’s wild terrain, barren and empty, though he hears wind whooshing overhead and birds calling in the distance. Trees are in a circle around the rocky area he landed in and it appears to be either dawn or dusk; Ben’s internal clock tells him the former._

_“Where the fuck am I?” he demands, slowly checking his body over to see if anything’s broken. Now that he’s taken weight off his chest, the pain is receding, and his X5 capabilities will swiftly deal with the bruising._

_“We’re in Dean’s safe place,” Rosie says from beside him and suddenly he notices she’s there._

_“You’re getting stronger,” he observes, trying to decide if he should fear her or not. He looks at her, studies her—she’s haggard and worn, green eyes weary and dark hair escaping its’ tie._

_He knows this girl, knows her well. He can’t fear her any more than he fears Sam. She wouldn’t hurt him, not for anything in the world._

_Rose’s face lightens and a delighted smile curves her lips. “Thank you,” she cries, tears spilling over. “Ben, thank you so much.” She wraps her arms around his dully aching torso and sobs into his shirt._

_“’s’alright, Rosie,” he whispers, rubbing her back. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I’m here now, so you can rest.” He murmurs, keeping his tone calm and gentle, for a handful of heartbeats before she fades out of his embrace and he’s left holding air._

_Ben hopes he’s even in the right continent of what to do, because if he fucks it up, both he and Dean are probably lost forever._

_He wishes Sam were here. Sam could reach Dean no matter how far down he’d buried himself._   
_“Dean’s safe place,” Ben echoes, looking around with fresh eyes. It’s calming, he supposes, in a desolate sort of way. Quiet. He rises to his feet, picks a direction, and walks.  
The trees thicken then thin out; the birds sound further away. The sun hits the middle of the sky and that’s the only way he knows time passes. He keeps his mind occupied by imagining time with Asher and Alec, by listing every single thing he’ll do to that Renfro bitch, and each dessert he’ll fix and consume. _

_The sun sets and he keeps walking, not tired, not hungry, not thirsty. He’s left behind the forest for a lake and he skirts the edge, without a clue of what to do now. He has **no** idea where Dean might have hidden himself._

_He wishes Rosie would pop back in, tell him what to do. But she doesn’t; he’s on his own.  
No pressure. _

_Ben hasn’t been alone since Michael found him in the snow._

_And then a sound breaks the freaky stillness: a scream. Ben takes off at a lope, intent on finding Dean and waking up, because if time remains the same on the outside—Asher needs them._

_The scream echoes in the air, haunting, and Ben can’t find the source. So he shouts, “Dean! Dean, where are you?”_

_No answer. Complete silence. **Dead** silence. _

_Fear wells up in him. Something is wrong. He’s inside Dean’s head, deep inside, and has no idea of where to go to get out—but he can’t leave without Dean. He swore to Sam he’d bring Dean back._

_They need Dean. All of them. The kids, the girls, the guys, Sam, Michael—_

_And Ben. Ben **needs** him, just like he needs Alec and Asher. Dean taught him to live where Manticore taught him to survive. _

_Dean gave him a life, trust—love. And Dean only ever asked for trust in return._

_“You know,” Ben says, sinking down to the dirt, “I’m bettin’ you can hear me. You just can’t remember how to reply. Whatever they did to you—it made you shut down because your body isn’t built for the pain. Alec barely survived Manticore. It hurt; believe me, I know.” He licks his lips and turns his face to the darkening sky. “Sam’s waiting for you, Dean. Back at the house. Rosie tried findin’ you, wherever you’ve hidden yourself in here, but you bested her.” He huffs out a small bark of laughter. “You know, for a minute I considered fearin’ her? Little Rosie, the gentlest soul I’ve ever known. She’s strong, stronger than you can imagine—but she wouldn’t hurt me if her life depended on it.”_

_He lets himself fall back, stretches, nestles himself a spot in the warm dirt. He keeps talking. “You have a good life, Dean. A family. Remember when you told me family’s everything? I believed you. Believed **in** you. You gave me a family, you and Sarah and Michael and Sam. You could have kicked me out, but instead you kept me. Did I ever thank you for that? Thank you, Dean.” He falls silent, trying to think of words adequate. “Dean, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say just how thankful I am.” _

_A little boy steps out of the darkness, pale and slight with large hazel eyes that shine in the receding sunlight._

_Ben doesn’t react except to smile. “Hey, Dean,” he says. “It’s good to see you.”_

_“How’s Sammy?” Dean asks, crouching out of reach._

_“Worried, when I left. He couldn’t come with me, but he wanted to.” Ben keeps his voice soft, trying to make Dean come closer._

_“You got us out?” Dean sinks down, crossing his legs; Ben sits up, movements slow and sure._

_The sun sets and fire billows into life between them._

_“We did,” Ben answers. “Me and Alec. Asher was scared for you, but they didn’t hurt him.”_

_Dean looks around for a bit, watches the sky and mountains, studies the fire. “I’m safe here,” he finally tells Ben. “Nothing can hurt me. No one can lie or twist the truth.”_

_“But you’re alone, Dean. There’s no one to lie, but no one to tell the truth, either.” He pauses and says, “Sammy isn’t here.”_

_Dean looks down, digs his fingers into the dirt. “I miss Sammy.”_

_“Sammy misses you. He’d do anything to be here instead of me, but it would have put the whole family at risk.” Dean lifts his head and scrambles closer, through the fire without hesitation. Ben winces, but Dean had been right: nothing can hurt him here. “We can’t lose you, Dean,” Ben continues. “We couldn’t survive it.”_

_“If I wake up,” Dean whispers, “it’ll hurt.”_

_Ben nods. “But you’ll heal. And you won’t be alone. Don’t you get lonely here?”_

_Dean throws himself forward and Ben catches him, enfolds Dean in his arms. “I got you, Dean,” Ben says, trying not to cry. “I’ve got you. Let’s wake up now, okay? So you can be with Sammy again.”_

.

Ben woke in degrees. His whole body was numb and he realized he was spread out over Alec’s lap and legs. “How long?” he rasped, throat aching and dry. He tasted dust in his mouth.

“Two days,” Alec answered and held a glass of water to his lips.

Ben gulped it down and choked. His eyes teared and feeling came back in a rush. His legs and torso ached, his back hissed at him, and his head pounded.

“Remind me to never go in anybody’s mind again,” he gasped out, trying to sit up. Alec helped him and settled Ben against his chest, cushioning him.

“I’m sorry,” Rose said, stepping into view. “But I _couldn’t_ , and I thought you _could_ —and you _did_ , so I was _right_ , but I’m still sorry, because it _hurt_ —”

Sarah shushed her. “How’s Dean?” Ben demanded. “Did he wake up?”

With a nod, Sarah smiled tremulously. “You did it, Ben. He woke for an instant, then slipped back under, but Rosie says she can feel him now.”

Ben sighed in relief and closed his eyes, falling into an easy sleep.

.

He shot from his dream when Sarah answered the phone and gasped, then cursed. Dread soared through his body and he lunged out of the bed, hurried to the main room and asked, “Sarah, _what_?”

But she just looked at him, the phone loose her grip. He rushed across the room and yanked the receiver from her, snarling. “What?” into it.

“There’s been an accident,” Michael said. “Charlie took Kat, Lucas, and Haley on a supply run.”

“Michael,” Ben said when the man paused. “What happened?”

“They were attacked. We don’t know who did it yet. We only found out because Ava had a vision. Sam’s got Lucas and Haley back, but Charlie and Kat are still missing.”

“Okay,” Ben decided. “Michael, if you haven’t yet, shut down the house. No one in or out—even Sam. Me or Alec will be home soon.”

.

Rose felt for Kat and Charlie but there was nothing. “I can’t feel anyone from the family,” she cried, eyes wide and fearful. “ Phoenix—it’s blank.” She turned to Sarah, searching for explanation. “What does that _mean_?”

“I don’t know, baby,” Sarah replied softly, pulling the girl close. “But everything will be fine.”

Ben and Alec slipped from the room. “One of us has to go,” Ben told his twin. “Do you?”

Alec studied him for a moment. “I can take care of Dean, but I’m not the one who pulled him from his mind, who woke him up.”

“Have we gotten everything from Renfro?” Ben asked.

Alec nodded. “Me and Sarah decided while you were asleep. Since it was Dean at risk—and you—we had to ask Rose to go into the bitch’s head.” Ben met his eyes, horrified. “We _had_ to, Ben,” Alec reiterated, self-loathing coating his voice and face. “We hated it, but it had to be done. Sarah wrote down everything.”

Ben sucked in a deep breath, held it, then exhaled. “Okay,” he muttered. “Okay. Take Nathan and go home, find Kat and Charlie.”

Alec caught his gaze, sought absolution. “She agreed, Ben. She knew it was the only way. She’s strong, stronger than you think.”

Ben remembered back to Dean’s safe place and nearly shuddered. “I know, Mirror,” he whispered. “I know.”

.

Alec took the Impala and Nathan, leaving them with one vehicle. Rose never left the room that Asher had been in, Dean woke up for one moment then slipped back under, Sarah paced around like a nervous horse, and Renfro tried escaping hourly.

If Kat was never found—or found _dead_ —Ben didn’t know what Alec would do. He’d designated himself Katie’s protector, and one way to keep the baby safe was to take care of the mother.

Ben hadn’t lost anyone since the escape from Manticore, no one he cared about. And Kat was one of the first—

The look in Nathan’s eyes as Sarah told him of the trouble at home haunted Ben as he sat beside Dean. Was that how he’d look if Asher or Alec went missing? Hollow, broken—terrified.

Dean stirred. Ben reached down to pet his forehead. “Rest, Dean,” he murmured, thinking back to that talk they’d had when he was still a boy, when Dean had gathered him up and soothed away all his fears. He owed Dean so much—everything. Because of Dean, he had Asher and Alec, Sarah and Michael—Michael had found him, but Dean welcomed him, gave him a home, a family, a life—and that Renfro bitch nearly took it all away. Still might.

Because Dean still hadn’t woken for a full minute and they didn’t know what all damage might be done.

Dean quieted and Ben slipped from the bed, asked Sarah for the papers on Renfro. She handed them over silently and he settled back next to Dean.

He read for thirty minutes and had to pause.

She was insane. Some snake cult would take over the world after humanity got wiped out by a virus? Manticore formed purely to create the perfect DNA? Alec tortured because he was Ben’s twin, Dean tortured because he was the original donor? And what they’d found—if Renfro could be trusted…

Dean wasn’t human. According to Renfro. Never had been, never would be. And it all became clear in Ben’s mind, how Dean had never felt like Sarah or Michael, but not like Ava or Rosie, either—

Dean and Sam were unique. Together, they were apart from anyone Ben had ever known. Different from the transgenics, different from the psychics, different from the humans.

Ben glanced over at Dean, took in the sweat on his face, the grimace twisting his lips, the tiny whimpers he made low in his throat. “You want Sam, don’t you?” he whispered, setting the papers on the table next to the bed. He’d have to read over it again later, examine it closely.  
And he’d have to talk to that bitch Renfro.

“I wish Sam was here, too,” Ben continued, stretching and molding himself to Dean’s body, enfolding Dean in his arms, trying to offer what little comfort he could since he was the wrong man.

But Dean just sighed and quieted, his face smoothing out. “You’ll be fine,” Ben promised. “Whatever they did, it won’t be enough—because you’re strong, you’re the strongest man in the world. You’re Dean Winchester.” He gently kissed the back of Dean’s neck and softly started purring, slipping slowly into sleep.

.

_He turns, looks around: empty field dotted by purple and gold wildflowers. “Not again,” he groans. “Whatever happened to normal dreams?”_

_Alec chuckles from behind him. “You know, big brother. Don’t you? We both do, always have.”_

_Ben turns slowly, meets Alec’s hazel eyes. “You’re not him,” Ben says quietly, certain beyond all doubt._

_NotAlec grins. “You’re a Winchester alright, Benny-boy. Blood of his blood, flesh of his flesh—and that makes you **mine**.” NotAlec’s eyes shift from hazel to gold and Ben’s stomach clenches. _

“ **You** ,” he whispers. “You’re the thing that killed Dean’s parents.” 

_“Yep,” NotAlec laughs. “I just want to talk to you, Benny, get to know you a bit, is all.”_

_Ben backs up, searches for a way out._

_“You won’t wake until I let you, Benjamin.” NotAlec lunges forward and grips Ben’s neck; Ben jerks, tries to pull away, but NotAlec holds him fast. “I’ve spent the past fifteen years gathering my strength, boy,” NotAlec tells him, golden eyes hard and cold. “I want Sam and Dean on my side—tell them that. And you, Ben—you and ‘Mirror,’ as you’ve named him. The four of you, with me…” NotAlec chuckles then purrs, “The world won’t stand a chance.”_

_“They’ll never help you,” Ben snarls, everything in him flinching from NotAlec’s mimicry of Alec’s touch._

_“If the only way to keep Dean alive is to join me, Sam will. And if the only way to keep me from breaking Sam apart is to stand by my side, Dean will take the first step with a smile.” NotAlec lightly presses his lips to Ben’s, then licks his way down to Ben’s neck, bites into the skin. “And your pet human, that beautiful boy—come to me or he dies. Slowly. Painfully.” NotAlec smirks and flicks his gaze to Ben’s. “Your brother will follow you, Ben, no matter where it is you lead.”_

_NotAlec pulls back, releases Ben. “I’ve watched Dean and Sam since they were children, Benny. I’ve studied and learned. They’re mine. And because you were formed with Dean’s blood—” NotAlec pauses and twists his lips into a parody of Alec’s comforting smile. “So are you, Ben. You are **mine**.”_

.

Ben woke with tears on his face. Dean had shifted in his sleep, turned, and Ben was now curled up partly on Dean’s chest. Dean’s eyes were open and clear, watching Ben with worry.

“You’re okay,” Ben said, sitting up in one smooth movement. “Right?”

Dean stayed silent and Ben had a second of fear, but then Dean replied, “I’m fine. Sore and pissed as hell, but no worse for the wear.” Dean slowly pulled himself up and Ben helped prop him against the wall. Dean studied him for a few heartbeats then asked, “You were in my head?”

Ben nodded. “You’d locked yourself somewhere in your mind and Rosie couldn’t find you, so she shoved me in there with no warning and hoped you’d reveal yourself to me.”

Dean stared at him. “She can do that?”

Laughter welled up in Ben’s throat and he doubled over, fell against Dean. He couldn’t calm himself, couldn’t control himself—he just collapsed into Dean and laughed until he couldn’t breathe, until Dean was laughing with him, and Sarah poked her head in to see what the noise was.

But finally Ben caught his breath and settled next to Dean, shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip.

“How long’s it been?” Dean asked.

“Over a week.”

Dean hissed. “Sam?”

Ben answered, “Worried out of his mind. But he couldn’t go after you himself—too much of a risk.”

“He was pissed, huh?”

Ben didn’t even deign to reply and Dean chuckled.

“Rose says you’re clear.” Sarah walked in, checked Dean over quickly. “So, soon as you’re up to it, we can go.”

Dean tried lunging off the bed but Ben anticipated him and gripped his shoulder, held him down. “You have to rest a little longer,” Ben said firmly and Dean snarled at him.

“I need to get home,” Dean said, turning to Sarah with entreating eyes.

But Sarah shook her head. “Eat something. Sleep some more, and we’ll head home tomorrow.”

Dean glared and Sarah raised an eyebrow. “I’m the final say, Dean,” she told him sweetly. “So don’t annoy me.”

She swept out, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll bring you some food, then you’re takin’ a shower and goin’ back to bed.”

Dean grumped and Ben looked him out the corner of his eye, weighed the pros and cons of asking.

Dean interrupted his thoughts with, “Ben, just ask already.”

“Huh?”

“I have a brother.”

So Ben took a deep breath and said, “Tell me about your meeting with the demon.”

.

While Dean showered with Sarah overseeing, Ben visited Renfro. She was held in a cell away from the house, built to contain—well, Ben wasn’t sure what it’d been built for. The house belonged to one of Dean’s dad’s old friends, a big game hunter.

Renfro was tiring herself out, throwing herself against the door, trying to pick the lock, searching for a loose bar. But even if she got out of the cell, she’d still have to get off the property, past all the dogs.

Ben slipped in silently and slunk close to the cell door, then cleared his throat. She jumped and whirled around; he smiled, said, “’lo, bitch.”

Renfro flinched back then visibly forced herself to hide the fear. “Where’s the girl?” she demanded.

Ben laughed darkly. “She scared you,” he purred, pacing forward. “Terrified you.”

Renfro glared but had no defense. The closer Ben came the further she moved away, until she’d reached the back of the cage.

“We have everything we need from you,” Ben gleefully told her. “So now, I can do with you what I wish.”

Renfro’s eyes widened and he heard her heart speed up. He allowed himself a small smile. “See, here’s the thing, _Ma’am_ ,” he said quietly. “You tortured my brother. You tortured my friend. You terrified my lover and made him relive some of his worst memories.” Ben’s voice grew steadily harsher and colder. “We’re going home tomorrow, Elizabeth. Which gives me the rest of today and all of tonight.”

He opened the cage and flew across it, grabbing her arm and slamming her into the bars. “I knew it,” she hissed, bucking, trying to claw at him. “You’re just an animal.”

“Sweetheart,” he laughed, “you ain’t got a _thing_ I want.”

He pulled her out of the cage; she kicked and cursed the whole way. Finally, he gripped her neck and said calmly, “You have no allies here, bitch. You’re just wasting energy.”

Renfro raised her arm; he allowed her the freedom of slapping him, relishing the slight pain. It grounded him, helped him keep his focus. He didn’t want to kill her too soon—that’d ruin the fun. She kicked low, hissing, and he caught her foot, tossed her on her ass.

“Calm yourself, dear,” he lightly suggested with a dark laugh. She glared up at him, rage warring with fear. He smirked and she paled. “You have no allies here, Elizabeth,” he repeated. “ _None_.”

By the despair bleaching all strength from her eyes, he knew she finally began to understand what that meant.

He remembered Alec when they first met, remembered Dean trapped in his mind, remembered Asher’s pale face in that cell.

“Do you have any children?” he asked, crouching down to meet her eyes.

“What?”

“Children.” He tilted his head, staring down at her. “Any of your own?”

“N-no,” she answered.

He smirked. “Good.” Reached out with one hand to grasp her neck. “Husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover?”

Again she said, “No,” gaining strength, body tensing.

He leaned forward, getting right up in her face. “So tell me, Elizabeth,” he murmured, “who in the wide world will miss you once you’re gone?”

And she quelled, shrank back.

“I am what you made me, Renfro,” he said. “A hunter. A predator.” He stood, pulling her with him, and whispered coldly in her ear, “A _killer_.”

.

He crept into Dean’s room that night. Sarah had fallen asleep on the couch, and Ben just needed warmth. He felt like he was shivering deep inside. He slipped into Dean’s bed and slid beneath the downy quilt, curled up as close as he dared.

“You dealt with her?” Dean asked and Ben shuddered. Dean reached out and threaded his fingers in Ben’s hair. “s’alright, Ben,” he soothed quietly. “You did what you had to for the safety of our family. She wasn’t a good person.”

Ben had killed before but it’d never affected him like this. He trembled, tears building in his eyes. He pressed forward, settled against Dean’s chest; nether paid attention to the small wounds still dotting Dean’s skin from Manticore. Dean wrapped his left arm around Ben’s shoulder, held him tightly. “s’alright, Benny,” he whispered again, gently kissed Ben’s hair. “You did what was necessary, nothing more.”

It wasn’t the first time Ben cried in Dean’s arms. He didn’t make a sound, just silently wept—though he didn’t know for what. He wasn’t mourning that bitch; she wasn’t worth tears. But he couldn’t stem the flood.

“I’ve got you,” Dean told him softly. “I’ve got you, Ben.” He lightly kissed Ben’s hair, his forehead. “You’re safe. Just sleep.”

Ben drifted off, finally, focusing on Dean’s heartbeat, half curled up on his chest.

-

_“Killer,” NotAlec hisses, circling him. “Lovely killer. You’re closer to me now, you know.”_

_Ben flinches back, averts his eyes. “Leave me alone, demon,” he demands, searching for strength. “I’m not.”_

_NotAlec reaches out, trails his fingers along Ben’s jaw. “But you are. You are Dean’s blood, and Dean is mine.” He grips Ben’s chin and leans in, nibbles at Ben’s lips. “You taste like Winchester, Benjamin.” He bites Ben’s bottom lip hard, digging his teeth in, sucking at the blood. Ben winces and tries to pull away, but NotAlec tightens his grip. ___

__“Tell Dean that we still have debts to settle,” NotAlec whispers, digging his thumb into Ben’s cheek. “Tell him that he can keep Sam—and you boys—if he wants.” NotAlec looks into Ben’s eyes and smiles. “It’ll cost him some blood, but he can do it. Tell him that.”_ _

__NotAlec leans close again and nips Ben’s lip one final time. “Tell him, boy—tell him that he and his brother and his two precious clones—they are Mary’s sons and so… they are **mine**.”_ _


End file.
